And an example that will stun you!
We put ourselves out there to meet people (who might also like to meet us).
It’ll go better for us if we know something about ourselves before we try to know anything about anybody else.
Or worse, dismiss people on a first impression basis when we make so many mistakes trying to do it.
Many people are terrible at “reading” people fast.
First impressions DO count, but they are often wrong. 
People get an impression of a website in 10 seconds.
If they don’t get a favorable impression, they leave.
Web designers tell us that people who visit our website give us only a few seconds to decide to stay or not (the number of seconds varies depending on the expert).
People are not websites though.
Dismissing  a person based on inaccurate information formed by a faulty short first impression is not helpful or smart. However, it’s getting to be that way with relationships too. If we don’t feel awed 10 seconds after meeting someone, we dismiss her or him.
(Take a look at Rosamund Pike holding an award. Charming, Fresh, friendly, yes?)
That’s our first impression.
This is not a great way to build relationships, especially if we don’t really know what we are doing when we are assessing someone for the first time. Life moves so fast these days we often don’t put in the requisite amount of time to get to know someone-–even superficially.
But we do want to form good new relationships so we should spend a little time learning the process by which we might be automatically rejecting people we would otherwise come to like—or even love!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

First impressions DO count but they don’t have to characterize a whole relationship.

Here are 8 tips on how to get good first impressions (not make one, GET one!)

1. LEARN TO READ PEOPLE BY KNOWING YOURSELF
Many people are not good at “reading” social signals. It isn’t that their instincts aren’t good–they often are–but anxious daters are not thorough. If you’ve had a drink or the music is too loud and you miss a tone, an inflection, or a phrase you might misinterpret something someone says and that could easily lead to a wrong impression.
Knowing yourself in this area can help.
If you know you sometimes judge too rashly, slow down and give matters a second thought.
2. REASSESS INSTANTLY
We often dismiss what we first think of as a negative impression—partly because we got it wrong and partly because we didn’t  take the time to think about it later to reassess that first impression.
This reassessment doesn’t have to be the next day—although that is certainly wise.
It doesn’t have to take long either. If we pay more attention instantly—if our radar goes on when we think we have seen or heard something we don’t like, or seems strange– a bad impression can be corrected almost immediately.
3. DEVELOP DISCERNMENT through Self-Knowledge
First impressions are correct more often if we are discerning.
Many people haven’t developed  the quality of discernment, which is a part of Self-Knowledge, so they get fooled-–a lot. They take everything at face value–never looking underneath the surface for any sub-text that might alter their first impression.
That process reduces the number of times you have to instantly reassess a remark or gesture (see No 2, immediately above).

4. VARY THE WEIGHT YOU GIVE “SIGNS” 

Things have changed in Rosamund.

People who lack interpersonal discernment—which means they lack self-discernment, which is a part of Self-Knowledge, compound the problem by giving the same weight to all social indicators they see. For example, they’ll give a superficial quality like hair color, the same importance as a person’s education level. Not a good idea.
(Take a look at actress Rosamund Pike now. Sophisticated, sexy, beautiful?)
5. GIVE LESS IMPORTANCE TO SUPERFICIALITIES
First impressions always include superficialities such as clothing, smell (perfume or cologne), height, color, hair style, accessories, etc. and these can be easily misinterpreted.
A person you meet for the first time could be dressed a certain way for any number of reasons known to them—but not known to you because you don’t know them yet!
If you know yourself and you know that sometimes you dress in different ways or styles for different reasons, it’s no stretch for you to give them the benefit of the doubt until you know more about them. I say in the caption to the right, that things have changed in Rosamund. But maybe not. Maybe we just didn’t see  her well at first meeting.
6. GIVE MORE IMPORTANCE TO SERIOUS THINGS.
First impressions also include how you walk, move, gesture and talk. These can be significant indicators of a person’s personality and, to some degree character, but they are easy to misinterpret (and beyond the scope of this article). These factors  should definitely weigh more than the superficial ones, when you are judging whether you like a person on first meeting but even these things can be misleading.
When you know yourself, know why you walk and talk and move and gesture as you do, you’ll also know more about why others do these things.
7. BE FLEXIBLE
Some people are dismissive of others if the people they meet do not conform to the idea of people they think they would like to meet.
Read that again! No, no, before you look at Rosamund again!
Can’t do it, can you! Getting a different impression of lady Rosamund?
If you have an idea of a date with a perfect man or woman or a job interviewee (or interviewer) and the person you meet does not measure up to that ideal, you might pass him by. Now, by “idea,” (or ever worse, ideal), I don’t mean “high standard”—that’s a whole other discussion—No, I mean your particular ideas of superficial things such as height, weight, hair color, etc. Or, more weighty things such as a person’s age or race, or job.
HOWEVER…
(Oh, here’s Rosamund again. Now what do you think of her?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. That example was stunning yes?
At first, Ms Pike looked demure and even old-fashioned. That’s  not  the impression you  have now, is it?)
8. KNOW THAT 1ST IMPRESSIONS REMAIN.
You might still retain that original impression of her near the top of the page unless you know that she is an actress–and a go0d one–and can change her appearaance and thus her first impression on us.
But although first impressions can be changed when we see the person in a new context,  the original impression we formed remains in its original context (and most others) unless we actively change it.
That takes knowledge of yourself as well as the other person.
This last point will take another article to deal with, folks. Watch for it!
For more information on the British actress (and cellist–see, you wouldn’t know that by just meeting her the first time, would you?), Ms Pike, see her filmography at Wikipedia.com.)
If you’d like more information on your Self,  join Self-Knowledge College today!
The first impression people have of you is probably wrong.
The impression you have of yourself is probably incomplete or even wrong too!
Who do you think you are? Find out who you  really are at Self-Knowledge College. There’s a terrific gift there. I’m changing it soon, I can’t tell you which one it is. Depends when you read this.
But it’ll be good. And FREE.
Frank