Ever hear people say: “Who does he think is is?”
We often say it about people we think are “getting too big for their britches.” If people acknowledge they did something good, others accuse them of bragging.
“Wow! Does that tell you anything?
If person knows who he is but she can’t mention it? Are we so afraid of our ‘selves’ that we can’t even acknowledge ourselves when we’re good at something? We sure do it when we don’t feel competent.
HERE’S A LITTLE TEST
Write down all the things you are really good at. It doesn’t matter what it is: cooking singing, math, whatever. Just write down as many things as you can that you are terrific in or at.
Now, write down as many things as you can that you are not good at.
Which list is longer?
Most peoples’ list of things they’re good at is shorter (sometimes much shorter) than the ‘not good at’ list. And it takes them longer to write down the ‘good at’ list. This is not only not healthy, it’s probably not even true. Not true, but still accepted as one of our ‘presenting’ selves.
Maybe it is our most used presenting self, the one people see the most even though it isn’t accurate. When talents are recognized and nurtured early, the child will develop best. But what if they’re not recognized or nurtured? That happens a lot more and the negative effects can be cruel.
Not right away, not with one instance maybe, but over time and with reinforcement, negative thoughts, once accumulated, can be devastating. This influences our self-esteem and self-confidence more than is understood by most people. It influences self-talk too. (“Well, I’m not reality good at public speaking” or “I’m terrible at math.”)
I am not good at math, but frankly, I didn’t have good math teachers all through grade and high school.
None.
In fact one of them used to bang our heads against the blackboard if we didn’t know an answer. It was much later in life that I saw the beauty of math and its relationship to things like music.
THINK OF SPORTS FIGURES
Look at all the Olympic swimmers and gymnasts who have been training since they were small children. 
Is it all luck? Can they not admit they’re good at what they do without somebody calling them on it for being prideful? This is ridiculous on its face but our society operates this way.
Did you display any talent in any of the arts such as painting, dancing, acting, music? Did you develop any of these? Do you still want to? Do you have a desire to do something different, not ‘normal’? Did you not pursue something because somebody thought it was ‘weird’?
Examine your life.
Imagine you are standing on a chair, looking down at the floor on which is a chart of your life to this day. Do you see patterns, associations, and connections between things you thought you were good at, things people told you you were good at, activities you know you were good at?
WHAT ARE YOU REALLY GOOD AT?
- Think of your accomplishments in school or out.
- Think of your ‘wins,’ your distinctions, your great moments.
- Think of what people praised you for, complimented you for
- Think of when people said “You are so good at ‘x.’
- Write them downWhat attracts you?
Good at science?
- Repels you?
- What came easily to you as a child and still does?
- What do you do easily that other people struggle with?
- What do you love to do?
- What would you do even if nobody knew about it?
- What would you do even if they didn’t pay you to do it?
- What wouldn’t you do even if they paid you a lot of money?
Think of other areas where you indicated special knowledge or gifts. Business? Interpersonal skills?
Anything at all because it isn’t just the thing itself that’s important it’s what it reveals, what it leads to, what it suggests.
Of great interest is the combinations of things you are drawn to.
One woman I know wanted to be a teacher but not exactly; she wanted work in public relations but not exactly; she wanted to do marketing but not exactly. She also wanted to help poor people in developing countries. What did she come up with? She thinks she’d like to be a teacher of teachers. She’d like to take her expertise in public relations and marketing and teach people in developing countries who themselves would teach burgeoning entrepreneurs about public relations and marketing!
How brilliant is that! That is creativity at a high level! Then you have to combine all your gifts and talents.
See the connections, associations and patterns. That’s what the woman I mentioned above figured out.
See which latent talents and gifts you have developed to the point where you actually perform them well, ones which you actually DO well.
Which ones are you skilled at? How can you advance them, leverage them, combine them, create new situations for them? We have to find those and concentrate on them, capitalize on them.
If you aren’t sure what you talents are, you can find out in my course:
Secrets of Success Through Self-Knowledge (coming soon!)
If you would like an idea in advance of what the course is about, you can email me or call me.
We can do this.
You can do it and I can help.
In the meantime, sign up FREE at Self-Knowledge College and get my Book 4 Questions to Change Your Life! (I’ll be changing that gift soon but as of this writing it is still active.
If it isn’t there, there’ll be something just as good for you!
-Frank
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
905-584-0617
