self-confidence Archives - Page 4 of 8

Six Reasons for Lack of Self-Knowledge #1

February 17, 2016 by daleyfrank0

Lack of Self-Knowledge: Reason #1

Most people are reluctant to go on an interior journey of the “self.” They offer one or more of six objections. I’ll write about them for the next week.

See if any of them apply to you.

#1. They think the whole business of Self-Knowledge is “airy fairy,” insubstantial and silly.

It’s not.

It can be among the most demanding things you do in life. You need to be rigorous and truthful.

You will not like everything you discover about yourself. OK, so what? You know that’s the case already. We all feel that way because it’s true.

Knowing yourself will make whatever problem there is (if there is one) more specific, more accessible. You’ll ‘be able to identify the problem and then solve it.

You can never solve a problem you don’t “see” or can’t identify.

My system, my process, allows you to see the problem areas, identify them and then we’ll figure out how to solve them.

Here’s a short book on THAT issue!

What’s Your Problem?

No Really, What IS Your Problem?

There’s a reason you are having a problem in life that you can’t identify (and therefore can’t solve) and there’s no point or solution in feeling that way. Maybe get that short book and see if it resonates.

It works. This short book helps you “see” the real problem so you can find ways of solving it rather than throwing up your hands in futility. We can’t solve it because we get side-tracked by three psychological blocks that prevent us from seeing the problem clearly.

It is frequently involves a delicate subject that involves a relationship with a person close to us. Often we say we ‘can’t’ solve an emotionally-charged problem that has been bothering us for months or years.

Email me and we’ll talk.

frankdaley@rogers.com

Be yourself! Good luck with that! Know yourself first.

February 3, 2016 by daleyfrank0

Be Yourself. Good luck with that! Know Yourself First.

Many people in our society tell children to “be yourself.”

This is well-meaning advice but impossible to do and totally wasted advice if the child does not ‘know herself.’

It is said mostly to young girls and boys who admittedly, have a herd mentality about many things.

Being yourself is not high on the list.

Teenagers (and even younger children) want the same heavily advertised material thing. Think of clothes, movie stars, and running shoes.

Parents are trying to get them to be more independent, to think for themselves, but everybody wants to be part of the group.

Nobody wants to be different.

Being different usually translates as being alone or being a nerd and ultimately alone.

Nobody wants to be alone.

But you can’t be yourself if you are different and you conform.

JUST BE YOURSELF!

Parents say to their children, ‘Just be you, just be yourself.’

Note the word ‘just.’

We see this every day on TV. A parent has a child murdered and she says to a reporter, “I just want my child back.”

The request is touching but hopeless because she says she just wants what is ‘impossible.’

It isn’t ‘just”anything; it is everything.

‘Just’ implies a little thing, a morsel in the feast of what we want. But immediately we go for the ultimate: Bring my child back to life.

We know what parents mean when the give the advice “be yourself”–they mean:

don’t copy everyone else
don’t be a lemming (If Billy jumped off a bridge would you jump off one too?)
don’t get carried away with peer group influence
don’t be like everyone else
don’t always conform

So the word ‘just’ in this application is not helpful.

Parents say as if it was an easy thing to do, as if when you look at all the difficult things you have to do, that being yourself is simple and easy.

The hope is that this recommendation will eliminate all the stress that accompanies being torn between being yourself and going with the crowd.

It’s supposed to solve all your problems.

Everyone knows that’s nonsense, but people continue to say it, probably because trying to think of something really effective to say to a teenager is too complicated or difficult. (Well, they’re right about that!)

Not that the idea is worthless.

The most important person in the world is you.

Not your mother.

Not your boyfriend.

Not your husband.

You!

To be yourself means first, you have to know yourself.

That comes first, but is ignored or skipped over in the advice columns.

At Self-Knowledge College and Dropout to Dean’s List, I help people get to know themselves better so they can be more successful in their personal, academic and professional lives–on their own terms.

If you, or someone you know, would benefit from learning more about themselves just email me.

We’ll set up a brief, FREE conversation that could prove advantageous.

frankdaley@rogers.com

Frank

How Writing Helps Self-Knowledge And Promotes Success

December 20, 2015 by daleyfrank0

Why writing is important to my business success and your personal success through Self-knowledge.

WRITING 1: WORK AND YOU

My business is Self-Knowledge College.
My sister site is Dropout to Dean’s List (for at-risk students).
My work is helping people know themselves so they can make better decisions for themselves and find success on their own terms in their personal and professional lives.

It involves teaching people to know themselves and self-knowledge by itself isn’t going to attract many people on it’s own.
It’s not “sexy” enough.
It doesn’t provide an immediate, downloadable result for $100, much less $47.

OBJECTIONS TO OUR WORK

People have a lot of psychological, emotional and mental objections (most of them unconscious) to the idea of learning more about themselves.

First, they think they already know themselves pretty well since they know what movies, sports and food they prefer.
And they know what their most productive time of day is—whether, for example, they are early birds or night owls.
Then, if they think of self-knowledge at all, they often dismiss it because they think it is too difficult, takes too long to achieve, is only for gurus on mountains in diapers, (or geniuses or Phds).
If those don’t apply, they are fearful of learning about themselves because they think they won’t like everything they learn (they won’t—but they already have suspicions at the very least about those things). They don’t realize, yet, that they will also learn so many more many wonderful things about themselves that they also don’t know. Yet!

HOW AM I DOING?

How am I doing? I’m not sure. I have written in many forms professionally with good results but writing to you is more difficult. There isn’t a lot of feedback so far so it’s difficult to know whether I’m reaching you or not. This is an attempt to explain why writing is important for my work of helping you and important for you in your work of knowing yourself better.

WRITING 2: THE BEST WAY TO REACH YOU

I was going to say that writing is not the only way to reach you—there are such things as podcast, videos, teleseminars, webinars, speaking from the stage etc., but all of them involve writing as a first step.
I have used none of these yet, except public speaking—although I intend to—but when I do, I’ll l have to write scripts, outlines, drafts of posts, courses or books, notes for Voice/over videos, scripts for on-camera videos etc.
All of them involve writing.

WRITING 3: OBSTACLES TO CONNECTION

Writing—words— are the best way to reach people because apparently something happened in their childhoods that prevented other methods of reaching them from taking effect.

What are some of these?

Poor parenting is one (often unavoidable given the problems of growing up having children–while still being children in many ways themselves) and having to take responsibility for raising them while struggling with their own education, work and lack of self-awareness.
A lack of someone, somehow, using words (and yes, non-verbal displays of affection) to reach the child and tell them of their many gifts, talents and abilities. This lack of words has led to people not appreciating themselves, not knowing themselves and therefore not loving themselves. That a part is crucial because if you don’t know yourself, you can’t love yourself—you can’t love what you don’t know.
Many people in North America are immigrants with little formal education in their own languages much less familiarity with English. Writing—basic, simple, transformative language— is necessary to reach these citizens.

WHAT I BELIEVE

My thesis is that if you don’t know yourself three bad things will happen to you in life:

You will not be in the right line of work
You will not be with the right person and
You will not be happy

You won’t be happy because of the first two.

Fighting our way through life, as we all must, requires some education, either formal or informal and each of these require language. I need language—writing—to reach people on a deep level.
Our lives are filled with superficialities, meretricious attempts to distract us from our life purpose.
And what if we can’t even define our purpose?
You need language too, in order to probe yourself, rigorously investigate yourself, to determine your authentic self. Since most of us are adults—even my at-risk students are adults—we need some way to be alerted to the notion that learning more about who we are and what we want in life is monumentally important.
Important, and while not easy—it does require work to get to know yourself—it is also amazingly interesting and rewarding. Who is more interesting, more important, not in an entitled way, but in a profound way—than you are?
Nobody.
But you can’t help anyone else unless and until you are secure and confident in yourself, in your emotional, psychological and spiritual self. Nor can you help yourself much because you don’t know who you are and what you want or what questions to ask and answer and what directions or paths to take.

WRITING 4: COMMUNICATION

Words, writing, in some form or another (film scripts, TV shows, movies, slide shows–are all based on writing), is the best way to communicate, to reach people, to suggest, to seduce, to persuade to convince them they that they are important and worthy and can be better.
We all want be better, to improve ourselves, but we put obstacles in our own way, we self-sabotage for myriad reasons.
Words—writing and reading— can eventually cut through the bafflegab of life.
When you know yourself you become a jet-propelled activist on behalf of yourself.
You can’t help but get better when you know yourself.
It is not possible to fail at self-knowledge if you stick with it.
It’ll take some time (and granted, you’ll never know everything about yourself because you are too complicated and life is too short) but it is easily possible to learn something new about yourself every day.

TAKE MY COURSE ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE

Join me in private or group work using my book, Who Are You and What Are You Doing Here? The way to know yourself and get what you want.

But first you must begin. And you begin by reading and listening to my words, through writing and speaking to you.

WRITING 5: SELF-KNOWLEDGE

Self-knowledge needs words to go deep in your job of self-detection.
It doesn’t matter if you are formally well educated or not—life has taught you many things.
I can teach you to harness those things, sort them out and prepare a system to follow things about you—or at least I can lead you to discover them.
One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to write about yourself.
That’s one of the things I will help you do if we work together.
If I say Self-Knowledge, that’s because that’s what the core, the essence of you is.
But we don’t constantly speak of Self-Knowledge in the abstract.
We use the right words to examine the presenting problems that are keeping you awake at night or causing you stress during the day.
I try to use simple, direct, clear language in my writing to examine things such as problems with time management, procrastination, goal-setting, the ability choose a college program or career path or even choosing a life partner.
We all know that one can be a life-destroyer.

IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOURSELF, YOU CAN’T LOVE YOURSELF

If you don’t know yourself you can’t love yourself because you can’t love something or somebody you don’t know.

It gets worse.

If you don’t love yourself, you can’t accept love from anyone else. Something inside you will subconsciously push that person away because you KNOW you are loveable.

This stuff doesn’t go away until and unless you address it. I have to use language, words, writing, to reach you and convince you things can be better in your personal and professional life.
You have to use them to be a gold detective of your inner self.
If you read and respond to my words.
The words, the writing, are important to me but they are also important to you if you need my assistance in gaining Self-Knowledge.
Or even if you don’t.
Join me at Self-Knowledge College.
For a FREE consultation, a strategy session, just email me at daleyfrank0@gmail.com
or call me at 905-584-0617.
If you could do it yourself, you would have done it by now.

WRITING 6: YOU

Write to me as I do to you.
I’m with you in this.
-Frank
Contact Info:
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
905-584-0617

Self-esteem and self-confidence–what's the difference?

October 30, 2015 by daleyfrank0

Self-esteem and self confidence.What’s the difference?

People often confuse ‘self-esteem’ and ‘self concept.’

The big difference between the self-concept and self-esteem is that the self-concept refers in general to the thinking aspect of self as it relates to our self-image (that is, how we see ourselves as related to others in a cognitive or thinking way) while self-esteem refers to the affective or emotional aspect, or the way we feel about ourselves.

Self-esteem

(Some psychologists and other writers discuss the two terms almost interchangeably, which can be confusing, but the distinctions we make here should be helpful.)

SELF-CONCEPT

The self-concept is “the totality of a complex, organized, and dynamic system of learned beliefs, attitudes and opinions that each person holds to be true about his or her personal existence.” (W. Purkey. 1998. An Overview of self-concept theory for counselors.)

That’s pretty clear–almost everything and anything we think or believe or have learned (from others and from our own actions and experiences.)
Franken says that a great deal of research indicates that the self-concept is the basis for all motivated behavior (R. Franken Human Motivation. 3^rd ed. 1994)

It is the self-concept that gives rise to our possible selves and it is our possible selves that create the motivation for behavior.

Our view of ourselves and our possibilities in the world is centered here.
Franken says that “people who have good self-esteem have a clearly differentiated self-concept.”
This makes sense, doesn’t?

SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves.
We can be skilled at something yet feel inadequate.
We can be in a position of authority, influence or power and yet worry about whether we deserve or it can live up to it.
Sometimes we feel like frauds.
We think we’ve been getting away with a lie for years and someone is going to say ‘What the hell is he doing in that position? He’s doing a terrible job!”
We can feel like imposters or fakes.
Sometimes we luck into a job and muddle around until we actually learn how to do it quite well but we are stuck with the feeling we had when we first got it. That we’re unfit for it.
Conversely we can feel that we’re doing as terrific job and be screwing it up.
Think of the guy who ran the “clean up” of New Orleans after the floods, or Ron Ford, the ex-mayor of Toronto, or any of a dozen presidents of countries around the world.
Their self-esteem is high but misplaced.
They feel they are doing a good job but they are woefully out of touch.
So, in brief and generally-speaking, self-concept is what we think of ourselves and self-esteem (or lack thereof) is how we feel about ourselves.
SELF-KNOWLEDGE
People who know who they are can achieve more in life because they know what they can do and what they can’t do and they are more likely to be motivated to do what they can.

EVIDENCE THAT SELF-KNOWLEDGE IS THE KEY TO LIFE!

OK, that might be overstating it but not by much!

Certainly, Knowing Yourself is the key to greater achievement in life.

Well, that’s the kind of thing that prompted me to study this whole field and to write and teach about it. If he agree, say something about it b low!

And if you are getting ready to learn more about yourself, send me an email. frankdaley@rogers.com

Want more free information about you?

Join me here:

http://www.selfknowledgecollege.com

-Frank

4 Steps to Self-Awareness…Free for 3 days!

August 2, 2015 by daleyfrank0

My book,
How to Know Yourself: 4 Steps to Self-Awareness
… is free on Amazon until August 3rd!
There are four steps to self-awareness which leads to self-knowledge.
They are asked here i the form of questions.
1. What do you want? A detailed rigorous process of exactly what you want at this time. It can change but vagueness does not help. For example, if you say you want to be happy what does that mean?
Ask 50 people and they will all gove different answers.
We want to know what would make YOU happy.
Actually, YOU want to know, don’t you?
2. What do you you need (Not the same thing at all. You might need a car but you don’t need a Maserati!)
What you need doesn’t become clear until later when you take into consideration what your spouse or children want and need too.
3. What are you willing to do get (what you want and need)?
4. (I’ll tell you that inside the book!)

Here’s the Link!

Pick it up when it’s free!

You won’t regret it.

Frank

Do you find self? Create self? And what’s the point?

July 19, 2015 by daleyfrank0

FIND SELF OR CREATE IT?

MANY EXPERTS ADVISE US TO “FIND OURSELVES.”

WHY? What’s the point?

The point is you make better choices in life, better decisions about yourself because you know who you are and what you want.

DO WE FIND SELF OR CREATE IT?
There seems to be confusion, though, about whether we find ourselves (the self having already been created) or whether we create ourselves –from whatever is inside us and whatever we add throughout life.

Both philosopher, Thomas Szasz, and writer, George Bernard Shaw, say

“The self is not something one finds: it is something one creates.”

What?

Thomas Szasz, philosopher.

S#*!

Many wise guys coming to opposite conclusions?

If they can’t agree –what chance do WE have of figuring this stuff out?

No wonder people never get to know themselves, I can hear you saying.

The experts can’t even get it straight!

“Find yourself” say some.

“No, You don’t find yourself, you create yourself,” say others.

That sounds like a contradiction. But it isn’t.

We CAN talk about finding our true selves if we use the term FINDING to mean we go deep inside ourselves to discover our natural gifts.

The ones that have the capacity to be identified and nurtured.

When you find your gifts (that is, RECOGNIZE them)…(and I can teach you how to do this later) …you then CREATE your SELF from them.

Your abilities, talents and gifts will tell you what your self is.

You can discover them now even if you don’t already know what they are.

Then you USE them to CREATE your SELF.

We are all unique in our human make-up, in our essence, even if we do not see it.
Other people will see it though.

Playwright George Bernard Shaw

Other people DID see it.

Your friends, teachers, relatives saw it in you when you were little.

Maybe those people did not nurture those things that make you unique.
Maybe they were preoccupied with their own problems.
Maybe they weren’t good at noticing these things.
Maybe they weren’t smart enough
Maybe they were jealous.

Who the hell knows?

And now, who cares.

Well, actually WE both care. You and I.

We’re not going to be victims and mope around about it.

You probably (at least partially) recognized your true gifts too but maybe you weren’t paying attention either.

Why do you think you start wanting to do weird stuff when you get to be 30 or 35 or 40?

Stuff you’ve never done before–like playing a musical instrument or learning a language or reading about math?
Or picking up something that you vaguely remember liking to do when you were a kid.
Or starting to do something that intrigued the hell out of you when you were younger but somehow never had the time or the courage to try then?

We CAN go into this deeply (and if you stay with me we will).

And you’ll HAVE to do some deep work to some degree, even if it’s just to figure out how the hell you missed all the obvious signs that indicated you were an amazing creature.

Even if somebody did point these gifts out to you but you ignored their observations.
Even if you have failed to recognize your gifts.
Or abandoned them.
Or traded them for what you thought was shiny gain, or easy opportunity.
Or wrong-headed self-sacrifice.

(There’s a lot of THAT going on out there!)

The potential is still there.

So “finding yourself” or “creating yourself.”

Call it whatever you like.

If you want to be happy, you still have to do it.

If you are not a subscriber, you can begin by getting my eBook,

FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

It’s FREE

You can also get a free consultation with me on any problem that might be driving you nuts.

If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.

For a 20 minute– FREE— introduction, please email me: daleyfrank0@gmail.com.

I’ll be with you.

In the meantime, sign up to Self-Knowledge College for much more information about YOU!

-Frank

Who Do You Think You Are? Test Yourself.

July 13, 2015 by daleyfrank0

Ever hear people say: “Who does he think is is?”

We often say it about people we think are “getting too big for their britches.” If people acknowledge they did something good, others accuse them of bragging.

“Wow! Does that tell you anything?

If person knows who he is but she can’t mention it? Are we so afraid of our ‘selves’ that we can’t even acknowledge ourselves when we’re good at something? We sure do it when we don’t feel competent.

HERE’S A LITTLE TEST

Write down all the things you are really good at. It doesn’t matter what it is: cooking singing, math, whatever. Just write down as many things as you can that you are terrific in or at.

Now, write down as many things as you can that you are not good at.

Which list is longer?

Most peoples’ list of things they’re good at is shorter (sometimes much shorter) than the ‘not good at’ list. And it takes them longer to write down the ‘good at’ list. This is not only not healthy, it’s probably not even true. Not true, but still accepted as one of our ‘presenting’ selves.

Maybe it is our most used presenting self, the one people see the most even though it isn’t accurate. When talents are recognized and nurtured early, the child will develop best. But what if they’re not recognized or nurtured? That happens a lot more and the negative effects can be cruel.

Not right away, not with one instance maybe, but over time and with reinforcement, negative thoughts, once accumulated, can be devastating. This influences our self-esteem and self-confidence more than is understood by most people. It influences self-talk too. (“Well, I’m not reality good at public speaking” or “I’m terrible at math.”)

I am not good at math, but frankly, I didn’t have good math teachers all through grade and high school.

None.

In fact one of them used to bang our heads against the blackboard if we didn’t know an answer. It was much later in life that I saw the beauty of math and its relationship to things like music.

THINK OF SPORTS FIGURES

Look at all the Olympic swimmers and gymnasts who have been training since they were small children.

Is it all luck? Can they not admit they’re good at what they do without somebody calling them on it for being prideful? This is ridiculous on its face but our society operates this way.

Did you display any talent in any of the arts such as painting, dancing, acting, music? Did you develop any of these? Do you still want to? Do you have a desire to do something different, not ‘normal’? Did you not pursue something because somebody thought it was ‘weird’?

Examine your life.

Imagine you are standing on a chair, looking down at the floor on which is a chart of your life to this day. Do you see patterns, associations, and connections between things you thought you were good at, things people told you you were good at, activities you know you were good at?

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY GOOD AT?

Think of your accomplishments in school or out.
Think of your ‘wins,’ your distinctions, your great moments.
Think of what people praised you for, complimented you for
Think of when people said “You are so good at ‘x.’
Write them downWhat attracts you?
Good at science?
Repels you?
What came easily to you as a child and still does?
What do you do easily that other people struggle with?
What do you love to do?
What would you do even if nobody knew about it?
What would you do even if they didn’t pay you to do it?
What wouldn’t you do even if they paid you a lot of money?

Think of other areas where you indicated special knowledge or gifts. Business? Interpersonal skills?

Anything at all because it isn’t just the thing itself that’s important it’s what it reveals, what it leads to, what it suggests.

Of great interest is the combinations of things you are drawn to.

One woman I know wanted to be a teacher but not exactly; she wanted work in public relations but not exactly; she wanted to do marketing but not exactly. She also wanted to help poor people in developing countries. What did she come up with? She thinks she’d like to be a teacher of teachers. She’d like to take her expertise in public relations and marketing and teach people in developing countries who themselves would teach burgeoning entrepreneurs about public relations and marketing!

How brilliant is that! That is creativity at a high level! Then you have to combine all your gifts and talents. See the connections, associations and patterns. That’s what the woman I mentioned above figured out.

See which latent talents and gifts you have developed to the point where you actually perform them well, ones which you actually DO well.

Which ones are you skilled at? How can you advance them, leverage them, combine them, create new situations for them? We have to find those and concentrate on them, capitalize on them.

If you aren’t sure what you talents are, you can find out in my course:

Secrets of Success Through Self-Knowledge (coming soon!)

If you would like an idea in advance of what the course is about, you can email me or call me.

We can do this.

You can do it and I can help.

In the meantime, sign up FREE at Self-Knowledge College and get my Book 4 Questions to Change Your Life! (I’ll be changing that gift soon but as of this writing it is still active.

If it isn’t there, there’ll be something just as good for you!

-Frank

daleyfrank0@gmail.com

905-584-0617

Self Care When You Don’t Like Your Job

May 27, 2015 by daleyfrank0

This is Part 40 in a series of articles about the “self.”

When your heart is not in the work you’re doing, it’s important to attend to your own self-hood.

You have to care about yourself even if you don’t care about your job. Especially if you don’t care about your job.

If you loved your job, you could use your non-work time to take care of yourself in other aspects of your life.

But often, work you don’t want to do has a schedule that doesn’t allow for that. Too often it is work that is non-permanent, or it’s temporary or part-time.

The hours are flexible for the employer but not for you. That means the rest of your life gets switched around, put on the back burner or forgotten about.

If you’re upset because of all this other bad things happen; your lose sleep, don’t eat properly, lose energy, lose ambition. and all that means you really DO need self-care.

Nothing is sustaining you. You are running on empty and you know it can’t last. When your health or will power gets depleted, you’ll have to re-evaluate how you’re going about doing things just to avoid a major medical or emotional crisis.

Or, you could start your self care sooner and avoid all that. You have to start making your self care changes now.

Self care isn’t just about having more self-discipline. It’s about considering many aspects of your life including your health, your stress levels, and your levels of fun, joy and inspiration.

It’s not so much about cracking down on yourself and vowing to do better, as it is allowing yourself to let go and do what you’re really motivated to do for yourself, not what you have to do because you’re told to. That is hard to do, especially if you are in a job you don’t like.

If you don’t like your job, join me at Self-Knowledge College and we’ll figure out what kind of job you should be in.

Getting that kind of job is the next step but let’s take the first step first.

Email me and we’ll talk.

frankdaley@rogers.com

Frank

Previous Posts

Part 1: Do you find yourself or create it? And why bother anyway?

Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind? Need a new search party?

Part 3: Be yourself. Everybody else is taken!

Part 4: Self discovery without viagra.

Part 5: Selfish vs Selfless (in women)

Part 6: Selfish. Always wrong?

Part 7: Selfishness, in the family.

Part 8: Singer Sarah Slean knows who she is

Part 9: Whatever you do, don’t be yourself!

Part 10: Self sinks soon. Save yourself!

Part 11: Be yourself, problem-solving

Part 12: Self-regard. Do you ever feel worthless?

Part 13: Be more successful. Know yourself

Part 14: Do self-help books work?

Part 15: Do what you love, but know yourself first

Part 16: Self-discovery: Destroying marriage?

Part 17: Self confidence & insecurity in dating

Part 18: Self-esteem comes with self-knowledge and self-love

Part 19: Time to see a therapist?

Part 20: Settling for the wrong lover?

Part 21: Love yourself first

Part 22: Writing helps self knowledge

Part 23: Self-esteem. Do you worry what people think about you?

Part 24: Self-esteem. 2 components

Part 25: Observing self

Part 26: How much do we change after 30?

Part 27: Focus on your strengths

Part 28: Is self-confidence overrated?

Part 29: Self-esteem vital to low-income blacks, latino boys

Part 30: Self, by definitions 

Part 31: Self-compounded or confounded 

Part 32: Self-esteem and self-concept

Part 33: You can’t let a baby dry itself to sleep. It harms the self

Part 34: Who does he think he is? Who do you think you are?

Part 35: The self is born

Part 36: Skills are talents in action

Part 37: 5 ways to determine if you have high self-esteem

Part 38: Self-Esteem: You are responsible for it after childhood

Part 39: How self develops in children

How the self develops in children

May 25, 2015 by daleyfrank0

A SCOTTISH STUDY: HOW THE SELF DEVELOPS IN CHILDREN.

This is Part 39 in a series of articles about the “self.”

This is by Iain Smith writing in the Herald Scotland.
“Dr Sheila Cunningham, of Abertay University, will carry out the study by looking at how youngsters first develop the concept of ‘the self’ and how this process impacts on cognition – those abilities linked to knowledge, comprehension, judgment, memory and analytics.
It is hoped the three-year project, funded by a £106,336 grant from the Leverhulme Trust, will fill the gap in the knowledge related to the mental development of toddlers.
Ms Cunningham said: “The self is a concept that influences numerous social, emotional and cognitive processes in adulthood, but we know surprisingly little about its development in childhood.
“By around three years, children can describe autobiographical memories, use personal pronouns to refer to themselves, recognise their reflection in a mirror, and show embarrassment in self-conscious situations.
“These developmental achievements suggest that children have established a sense of self by the end of toddlerhood, although self-knowledge and self-reflection becomes more elaborate with age.”
Dr Cunningham added that adults and teenagers have a ‘consistent memory advantage’ for information processed with reference to their own self, as opposed to information about other people.
For example, people are more likely to remember being asked the question ‘are you clever?’ rather than questions like ‘is David Cameron clever?’
The Abertay study will seek to assess the extent which this self-reference effect operates across childhood.
Furthermore, the study hopes to produce clinical applications through successful strategies for support children with autism spectrum disorders.’
AUTISM AFFECTS MORE AND MORE OF OUR CHILDREN
…(OR PERHAPS WE JUST WEREN’T SMART ENOUGH TO IDENTIFY IT EARLIER.)
But even if your child doesn’t have autism, this study walk be helpful.
And what if you do and you didn’t realize it until later in life?
Or ever?
If you have low self-esteem and want to know how to raise it, please email me at: daleyfrank0@gmail.com
I can help.
-Frank

Part 1: Do you find yourself or create it? And why bother anyway?

Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind? Need a new search party?

Part 3: Be yourself. Everybody else is taken!

Part 4: Self discovery without viagra.

Part 5: Selfish vs Selfless (in women)

Part 6: Selfish. Always wrong?

Part 7: Selfishness, in the family.

Part 8: Singer Sarah Slean knows who she is

Part 9: Whatever you do, don’t be yourself!

Part 10: Self sinks soon. Save yourself!

Part 11: Be yourself, problem-solving

Part 12: Self-regard. Do you ever feel worthless?

Part 13: Be more successful. Know yourself

Part 14: Do self-help books work?

Part 15: Do what you love, but know yourself first

Part 16: Self-discovery: Destroying marriage?

Part 17: Self confidence & insecurity in dating

Part 18: Self-esteem comes with self-knowledge and self-love

Part 19: Time to see a therapist?

Part 20: Settling for the wrong lover?

Part 21: Love yourself first

Part 22: Writing helps self knowledge

Part 23: Self-esteem. Do you worry what people think about you?

Part 24: Self-esteem. 2 components

Part 25: Observing self

Part 26: How much do we change after 30?

Part 27: Focus on your strengths

Part 28: Is self-confidence overrated?

Part 29: Self-esteem vital to low-income blacks, latino boys

Part 30: Self, by definitions 

Part 31: Self-compounded or confounded 

Part 32: Self-esteem and self-concept

Part 33: You can’t let a baby dry itself to sleep. It harms the self

Part 34: Who does he think he is? Who do you think you are?

Part 35: The self is born

Part 36: Skills are talents in action

Part 37: 5 ways to determine if you have high self-esteem

Part 38: Self-Esteem: You are responsible for it after childhood

‘Self’ in children. A Scottish study: learn how the self develops

May 6, 2015 by daleyfrank0

THE SELF IN CHILDREN.

A SCOTTISH STUDY: How the self develops in children
How we can help them develop self-confidence.
This is Part 39 in a series of articles about the “self.”

This is by Iain Smith writing in the Herald Scotland.
“Dr Sheila Cunningham, of Abertay University, will carry out the study by looking at how youngsters first develop the concept of ‘the self’ and how this process impacts on cognition – those abilities linked to knowledge, comprehension, judgment, memory and analytics.
It is hoped the three-year project, funded by a £106,336 grant from the Leverhulme Trust, will fill the gap in the knowledge related to the mental development of toddlers.
Ms Cunningham said: “The self is a concept that influences numerous social, emotional and cognitive processes in adulthood, but we know surprisingly little about its development in childhood.
“By around three years, children can describe autobiographical memories, use personal pronouns to refer to themselves, recognise their reflection in a mirror, and show embarrassment in self-conscious situations.
“These developmental achievements suggest that children have established a sense of self by the end of toddlerhood, although self-knowledge and self-reflection becomes more elaborate with age.”
Developing the self is a necessary and often tricky business in children.
Dr Cunningham added that adults and teenagers have a ‘consistent memory advantage’ for information processed with reference to their own self, as opposed to information about other people.
For example, people are more likely to remember being asked the question ‘are you clever?’ rather than questions like ‘is David Cameron clever?’
The Abertay study will seek to assess the extent which this self-reference effect operates across childhood.
Furthermore, the study hopes to produce clinical applications through successful strategies for support children with autism spectrum disorders.’
AUTISM AFFECTS MORE AND MORE OF OUR CHILDREN
…(OR PERHAPS WE JUST WEREN’T SMART ENOUGH TO IDENTIFY IT EARLIER.)
But even if your child doesn’t have autism, this study walk be helpful.
And what if you do and you didn’t realize it until later in life?
Or ever?
If you have low self-esteem and want to know how to raise it, please email me at: daleyfrank0@gmail.com
I can help.
-Frank