no self-worth?

Do you ever feel worthless? Do you lack self-regard?

This is Part 12 in a series of articles about the “self.” (For links to other posts, see below.)

I feel stupid when I try to grasp technology fast but never worthless.

A feeling or permanent or even periodical worthlessness is engendered early in life by poor “caregivers” whether parents, guardians or teachers.

Criticism by people you feel are knowledgeable and trustworthy does it.

Journalist Anneli Rufus struggled with self-loathing for over 40 years. “I hated myself unreservedly, as if it was required,” she writes in her latest book Unworthy: How to Stop Hating Yourself.

This is reported on and analyzed by Margarita Tartakovsky, associate editor of PsychCentral

“Why? Was I a murderer? A thief? Had I committed genocide or bombed the Prado? Was I mean? Did I have seven swollen, scaly heads? Whose children had I thrown down wells? Which city did I plunder? Had I put soap in a swimming pool or slaughtered fawns?”

“No. Rufus’s self-hatred stemmed from seeing her mom treat herself with contempt. Though “meaning no harm,” Rufus’s mom taught her daughter to believe there was something inherently wrong with her. Rufus yearned to be anyone but herself.

“Maybe you, too, have yearned to be someone else. Maybe you, too, have spoken vicious words to yourself. Maybe you, too, have avoided looking at your reflection.”

NOT TREATING YOURSELF WELL.

When you have a shaky self-worth, the last thing you want to do is treat yourself well.

“When we do not see worth in something, we often treat it poorly. Self-worth is the same way,” according to Brooke Lewis, a registered clinical counselor who specializes in self-harm, eating disorders and addictions in British Columbia. You truly believe you aren’t “worth caring for.”

This shows up in self-hatred, self-destructive behavior, and self-loathing.

NO SELF-ESTEEM, NO SELF-CONFIDENCE, NO SELF-WORTH

YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF

It also means you do not, cannot love yourself and this will doom you to a loveless life, (usually) an unproductive life, and a hard life.

I can help.

These feelings can be reversed.

IF YOU Are not a subscriber, you can begin by getting my Ebook

FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
It’s free here and will be on Amazon soon for around $3.
You can also get a free consultation with me on any problem that might be driving you nuts.
If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.
For a 20 minute– free– introduction, please email me: daleyfrank0@gmail.com or call me: 647-205-5059
I’ll be with you.
-Frank

Just email me: daleyfrank0@gmail.com for a FREE strategy session

or call me 647-205-5059

No charge and no obligation.

Let’s just talk briefly.

-Frank

Here’s more of Margarita Tartakovsky’s piece HERE

Previous posts:

Part 1: Do you find yourself or create it? And why bother anyway?

Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind? Need a new search party?

Part 3: Be yourself. Everybody else is taken!

Part 4: Self discovery without viagra.

Part 5: Selfish vs Selfless (in women)

Part 6: Selfish. Always wrong?

Part 7: Selfishness, in the family.

Part 8: Singer Sarah Slean knows who she is

Part 9: Whatever you do, don’t be yourself!

Part 10: Self sinks soon. Save yourself!

Part 11: Be yourself, problem-solving

Up next:

Part 13: Be more successful. Know yourself

Frank Daley
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
647-205-5059
356 Westridge Drive , Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

Are you selfish in the family? Or trying to preserve your sanity?

This is Part 7 in a series of articles about the “Self.”

This as one in a continuing series of articles about the Self. If you would like to read more on the Self, please see the links to other posts below.

Last time we tried to define selfishness.

Today we’ll look at what some people say is selfishness is actually good for a family.

Faye Weldon, a British author wrote:

“Young women, especially have something invested in being nice people,and it’s only when you have children that you realize you’re not a nice person at all, but generally a selfish bully.”

Ooops!
I’m sure many women might agree with that (many men too!) but more would not.

(Somewhat off the point, but for your amusement, I have to report that Ms. Weldon, when a copywriter, once wrote, “Vodka gets you drunker quicker.”
She said in a Guardian interview,
“It just seemed … to be obvious that people who wanted to get drunk fast, needed to know this.”
Which I thought was pretty funny.
Her editors didn’t use the comment.
Her husband, Ron Weldon, left her for his astrological therapist, who had told him that the couple’s astrological signs were incompatible.
Apparently, they were both a little off the wall.)

In any case, she is supported in her opinion, by many people.
The French actress, Emmanuelle Beart, echoing a lot of women, said:

“I just decided that I would not put my professional life on hold to raise children. I know that sounds selfish to a lot of people and I don’t know if what I’m doing is the right thing. But that’s the way I’m doing it.”

Indicating a real problem many people have in the tug-of-war between themselves and their children.
This is true of artists–who predictably–are more forthcoming about solutions for the problem.

Mikhail Baryshnikov said:

“People of art should never get married and have children, because it’s a selfish experience.”
Greg LeMond, a race track driver, said,

“Racing is a very selfish, self-centred, self-glorifying thing. My wife’s life for 14 years was centered around me. It was all about me. It was all for my ego.”

Parents often have this problem.

How they deal with it varies, of course, but all must wrestle with the implications, for their lives, and for their children’s lives.

On the biggest level, it has enormous impact on families: whether they break up, stay together “for the sake of the children,” or work it out in compromise and love and stay together knowing that some of what they wanted in life will never be achieved.

Other things,however, might satisfactorily replace them.
Think of all the well-educated immigrants who move to countries so their children can have a better life. They work menial jobs to give their kids a chance.
In some cases, what people thought they wanted, isn’t what they wanted at all.
But it keeps people up in the middle of the night.
Nobody said it was easy.

I’m with you in this complicated subject of YOU, Your SELF. You are worth the time, aren’t you.

Spend a little time with yourself.

If you are not a member, join us. Just put your John or Joanna Henry in the box above and I’ll start sending you good things

You can begin by getting my eBook,

FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

It’s FREE here and will be on Amazon soon for around $3.

You can also get a FREE consultation with me on any problem that might be driving you nuts.
If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.

For a 20 minute–FREE— introduction, please email me: frankdaley@ rogers.com or call me: 905-584-0617

I’ll be with you.

Frank

Previous Posts: