BE YOURSELF, EVERYBODY ELSE IS TAKEN

Part 8: Singer Sarah Slean knows who she is

Part 6: Selfish. Always wrong?

Part 7: Selfishness, in the family.

Up next:

Part 10: Self sinks soon. Save yourself!

Frank Daley
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
647-205-5059
356 Westridge Drive , Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

Singer Sarah Slean knows who she is.

February 6, 2015 by daleyfrank0

SARAH SLEAN–THE SINGER KNOWS WHO SHE IS AND WHAT SHE WANTS

This is Part 8 in a series of articles about the “Self.”

Sarah Slean is a Canadian songwriter/singer who knows who she is and what she wants.

She wants to continue to compose songs, sing them and study everything in the world for the rest of her life.

She is a beautiful, talented and unusual composer and performer who found herself at sea about some years ago regarding what she was doing with her career.

Slean was interviewed by Ben Kaplan of the National Post

The singer said had an existential crisis and asked herself if what she was doing was not “pure vanity.”

She said she stashed her stuff, “…rented a truck, put my grand piano in the back and went into the forest and lived there for four months in the spirit of ‘I’m waiting for direction because I give up on everything.'”

It was in 2005 and the singer had been told many things about how to run her career by many people and I guess it got confusing so she quit for a while to paint, read books and write music.

When Slean emerged, she told Kaplan:

“Everything in my life took an upward swing–I fell in love…I graduated university, I mended fences.

I felt such peace…Finally I know what I want to do.”

She’s nearly 40 now and her mini-crisis is over.
We all have these crises and they don’t have to occur in mid-life (which, by the way, some authorities are saying is anywhere around the mid-thirties!)

Our first job in life is to know who we are and find out what it is we want from life.

If we don’t ever do that…and many people never do it… we wind up with an unexamained life.

THE UNEXAMINED LIFE

“The unexamined life is not worth living,” said Socrates and it’s true.

Slean is like many Canadian performers who are not in the mega-star category (unlike say, Diana Krall, Celine Dion, or k.d. Lang).

In terms of public awareness she’s more like Emilie Claire Barlow, Patricia O’Callaghan or Jill Barker excellent performers who have their own dedicated audiences.

She is classically trained musician and that’s plainly seen on her website videos (http://www.sarahslean.com).

But she has a pop quality too: different, mature, funny and engaging.

Slean has a new double CD set called Land and Sea. A great song from it is Attention Archers. There are several versions of it on YouTube.

Some of the music on her site on on her CDs might strike you as unusual but that’s the idea-Try several–you’ll like them!

http://www.sarahslean.com

If you are searching for the real you, as Sarah Slean was, sign up to my email list and get my free Ebook,

FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

We all have to change things in ourselves occasionally (some people would say constantly!).

If you feel it’s time for a change in some way, please accept my invitation.

The book is FREE here and will be on Amazon for around $3.

You can also get a FREE consultation with me on any problem that might be troubling you.

If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.

For a 20 minute–FREE— introduction, please email me: frankdaley@rogers.com or call me: 905-584-0617

I’ll be with you.

I’m with you.

-Frank

Previous Post:

Part 1: Do you find yourself or create it? And why bother anyway?

Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind? Need a new search party?

Part 9: Whatever you do, don’t be yourself!

Part 6: Selfish. Always wrong?

Part 7: Selfishness, in the family.

Up next:

Frank Daley
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
647-205-5059
356 Westridge Drive , Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

Are you "selfish" in the family? Or preserving your sanity.

February 4, 2015 by daleyfrank0

Are you selfish in the family? Or trying to preserve your sanity?

This is Part 7 in a series of articles about the “Self.”

This as one in a continuing series of articles about the Self. If you would like to read more on the Self, please see the links to other posts below.

Last time we tried to define selfishness.

Today we’ll look at what some people say is selfishness is actually good for a family.

Faye Weldon, a British author wrote:

“Young women, especially have something invested in being nice people,and it’s only when you have children that you realize you’re not a nice person at all, but generally a selfish bully.”

Ooops!
I’m sure many women might agree with that (many men too!) but more would not.

(Somewhat off the point, but for your amusement, I have to report that Ms. Weldon, when a copywriter, once wrote, “Vodka gets you drunker quicker.”
She said in a Guardian interview,
“It just seemed … to be obvious that people who wanted to get drunk fast, needed to know this.”
Which I thought was pretty funny.
Her editors didn’t use the comment.
Her husband, Ron Weldon, left her for his astrological therapist, who had told him that the couple’s astrological signs were incompatible.
Apparently, they were both a little off the wall.)

In any case, she is supported in her opinion, by many people.
The French actress, Emmanuelle Beart, echoing a lot of women, said:

“I just decided that I would not put my professional life on hold to raise children. I know that sounds selfish to a lot of people and I don’t know if what I’m doing is the right thing. But that’s the way I’m doing it.”

Indicating a real problem many people have in the tug-of-war between themselves and their children.
This is true of artists–who predictably–are more forthcoming about solutions for the problem.

Mikhail Baryshnikov said:

“People of art should never get married and have children, because it’s a selfish experience.”
Greg LeMond, a race track driver, said,

“Racing is a very selfish, self-centred, self-glorifying thing. My wife’s life for 14 years was centered around me. It was all about me. It was all for my ego.”

Parents often have this problem.

How they deal with it varies, of course, but all must wrestle with the implications, for their lives, and for their children’s lives.

On the biggest level, it has enormous impact on families: whether they break up, stay together “for the sake of the children,” or work it out in compromise and love and stay together knowing that some of what they wanted in life will never be achieved.

Other things,however, might satisfactorily replace them.
Think of all the well-educated immigrants who move to countries so their children can have a better life. They work menial jobs to give their kids a chance.
In some cases, what people thought they wanted, isn’t what they wanted at all.
But it keeps people up in the middle of the night.
Nobody said it was easy.

I’m with you in this complicated subject of YOU, Your SELF. You are worth the time, aren’t you.

Spend a little time with yourself.

If you are not a member, join us. Just put your John or Joanna Henry in the box above and I’ll start sending you good things

You can begin by getting my eBook,

FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

It’s FREE here and will be on Amazon soon for around $3.

You can also get a FREE consultation with me on any problem that might be driving you nuts.
If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.

For a 20 minute–FREE— introduction, please email me: frankdaley@ rogers.com or call me: 905-584-0617

I’ll be with you.

Frank

Previous Posts:

Part 1: Do you find yourself or create it? And why bother anyway?

Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind? Need a new search party?

Part 8: Singer Sarah Slean knows who she is

Part 6: Selfish. Always wrong?

Up next:

Frank Daley
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
647-205-5059
356 Westridge Drive , Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

Self-discovery without Viagra. Potency in action

January 24, 2015 by daleyfrank0

Self-discovery and potency without Viagra.

Absent good parents you’ll need it.

This is Part 4 in a series of articles about the “Self.”

We’re discussing finding and/or creating your Self.
(This is No 4 in a series of articles about the Self. If you would like to read more on the Self, please see the links to other posts below).

POTENCY!

(No, not THAT kind of potency!) Well, you COULD call it Viagra for the Self.
I actually kinda like that!

“Potency” here means the capacity, the ability to reach your full potential using your gifts.

Along with good parenting, this happens if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing to find and grow your gifts, talents and abilities.

(I say, “Supposed to” in the sense that if you have gifts you should develop them, if you can.)

And you DO have gifts, so you SHOULD develop them .

It’s a life rule.
Many people don’t do it.

They don’t play by the rules.
But maybe they don’t KNOW the rules.
Maybe nobody ever taught them the rules.

Unfortunately, in life, that doesn’t matter.

Ignorance is no excuse.
If you don’t know the rules–for whatever reason– you’re going to lose the game.
For many reasons, most of us don’t get there.

Stunted growth because of bad parents will do that.

However, in life we cannot blame everything on our parents.
We have to play the hand we are dealt.
But the hand we’re dealt has potential; it has potency.

We are, in a sense, obligated to try to get past whatever would hold us back, and STILL develop ourselves.

Many of us don’t get there because we don’t know how to get there, or we don’t try or we get thwarted by life.
For many reasons, most people can’t do this
Shit happens.
They never reach their potential-or even a smattering of their true potential– for many reasons–because of poor parenting, country of origin,education, socioeconomic status, language, etc.

This is a big topic, but the point is most people on earth don’t have the luck to be born into a supportive family where the parents are actually adults–not as common as the word suggests–and in a country with opportunities to thrive.

But never mind those people for the moment.

Think of people these days in North America or other western countries like Italy, Spain, Ireland, Greece (Yikes!), England and France.

These days, being born in a western democracy is no guarantee of what we call “success’ is it?

Some people fail to develop their potential because truly bad situations exist. We have to deal with it.
Some blame others or accept defeat or collapse.
They fail to ACT on that potential
They fail to discover their talents
they fail to ACT on their potency.
Well, they can’t ACT on it if they don’t KNOW what it IS.

Our chief job in life to discover our potential and develop it.

To discover our potential, means to discover, or find, our talents, gifts and abilities and then from those to create our SELVES.

That’s what we need to do if we are be content, never mind happy.

It’s FREE, like few things in life.

IF YOU Are not a subscriber, you can begin by getting my eBook,

FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

It’s FREE here and will be on Amazon for around $3.

You can also get a FREE consultation with me on any problem that might be driving you nuts.
If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.
For a 20 minute–FREE— introduction, please email me: daleyfrank0@gmail.com or call me: 905-584-0617
I’ll be with you.
-Frank
Previous Posts:

Part 1: Do you find yourself or create it? And why bother anyway?

Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind? Need a new search party?

Up next:

Part 1: Do you find yourself or create it? And why bother anyway?

Frank Daley
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
647-205-5059
356 Westridge Drive , Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

Be Yourself, everybody else is taken.

January 22, 2015 by daleyfrank0

BE YOURSELF, EVERYBODY ELSE IS TAKEN

This is Part 3 in a series of articles about the “Self.”

ARE YOU YOU?

(I MEAN THE REAL YOU AND NOT AN IMPOSTER OF SOME KIND?)

Do you even know if you are?

Have you thought about it lately?

Self-Knowledge’ is crucial to determining who we are and what we want on earth.

It doesn’t get much attention.
BE YOURSELF, EVERYBODY ELSE IS TAKEN.

-Oscar Wilde, playwright.

OSCAR WILDE Be Yourself; everybody else is taken.

Wilde’s instruction is terrific unless you haven’t a clue as to who you really are.
Then you’re up the proverbial creek.
IT IS USELESS ADVICE…unless you already do know yourself.
Who are you?
What are you doing here?
Ask yourself–

Why am I in this job?

Why am I in this relationship?

What do I want out of my work, my relationships, myself?

(You know, as in before you die.)

Most people have no idea who they are.

Most people never try to find out (for various insufficient reasons).
For those who try, there are different ways to do it, most of them not very successful. There are many reasons to do it.

Some people who try want to optimize their chances in life.

Some want to know how to correct errors they made in life.

Lack of self-knowledge causes wrong decisions.

They have come to see that not knowing who they are causes them to make the wrong choices in life–about almost everything.

They are right.

It’s because they don’t know themselves well enough to make the RIGHT choices and decisions about themselves.

In the sixties and seventies, everybody talked about “going to find myself.”

It became the subject of jokes and cartoons.

People would laugh and ask them “Are you lost?”

“Well, kinda,” their friend would reply.

“I don’t know what to do with my life. Every decision I make– whether it’s a about dating someone or getting a job seems to wind up in the dumpster.”

(They’d usually use a different word there at the end!)

It’s because they were fed up.

Frustrated at not getting to where they thought they should be in life.

So they went away to find themselves.

Metaphorically or actually.

The problem is that everywhere you go, there you are.

You cannot get away from yourself.

You couldn’t then and you can’t now.

Even if you try–maybe especially if you try– it backfires and you learn later, to your regret, that you simply can’t do it.

Far better to begin the journey and figure it out.

About which, more later.

This site is for you and about you.

If you are not a subscriber, you can begin by getting my eBook,

FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

It’s FREE here when you register and will be on Amazon soon for a small fee.

You can also get a free consultation with me on any problem that might be driving you nuts.
If you have a problem with time management, personal goals, choosing a career path, the inability to choose a life partner (maybe you consistently date the wrong people) or any other troublesome area, you can help solve it with self-knowledge and I can teach you how to do that.

For a 20 minute–FREE— introduction, please email me: frankdaley@ rogers.com or call me: 905-584-0617

I’ll be with you.

-Frank

Previous Posts:

Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind? Need a new search party?

Up next: