The Last Place God Made by Jack Higgins
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Post-WW1 British ace, Neil Mallory, is acting as flying courier in the Brazilian jungle. Well, OVER it, until a plane crashlands and he teams up with a dubious character, Captain Sam Hannah.
Together they work the dangerous territory and run into a mountain of problems with nuns, loose and better women, dangerous flying, murder and eventually a slaughter.
They compete against each other until…well, you’ll just have to read it.
BEDTIME READING
Originally published in 1971, released again in 1997 and again in 2010, this enduring fast story provided me with several good bedtime reads.
View all my reviews
CURSE of the Ottawa–a gift to welcome you to my fiction site–a short story
Curse of the Ottawa, a free story for you!
Dear friends,
You may be familiar with my work on Self-Knowledge College where I help people know themselves better, or from Dropout to Dean’s List, where I help at-risk students become stronger academically and personally, or from my books on Amazon, or in some other capacity.
In your case, you are a member of The Daley Post.
This will be a change of pace. I hope you like reading and fiction.
This story might entertain you and it’s very short!
Give it a try!
PLEASE JOIN ME ON MY NEW FICTION SITE, NOVEL IDEAS.
I’m offering you a free short story (with more to come) to introduce you to my fiction.
Here’s what you’ll get immediately!
Curse of the Ottawa
A short story.
A Frenchman killed an Algonquin Indian about two hundred years ago by drowning him in the Ottawa River.
A tribal sorceress put a curse on the killer saying one member of his family would die in the river for each of the next ten generations.
Do you believe it?
It was an argument over who owned some land. The white man said it belonged to him and he had a piece of paper that ‘proved’ it.
That was nonsense, of course, a lie, but that’s the way we treated the native people in Canada and the U.S for centuries.
The Algonquin had no written language so they could not read the piece of paper but it didn’t matter; it was a fraud. This kind of thing, in a different way, is still going on.
The chief said the land did not belong to anyone. He said the rocks, trees, rivers, lakes, grass, sky, moon, and stars belonged to no one.
He said the tribe had been there first but that they would share these things.
But he did not accept that the land, or this river, was owned by anyone.
It was an ancestor of mine who killed the chief’s son.
The sorceress’s curse has been carried out.
Would you believe it if several of generations each suffered a death in the river?
Would you believe it if it happened to your family?
Would you believe it if it happened to you?
A curse in the 21st century?
No way.
Call it by another name, then? A hex, jinx, bane, scourge, nemesis?
No? Still too weird an idea to buy?
How about a torment, an affliction, an evil charm, a magic spell?
You don’t believe it.
I don’t blame you.
That’s what I thought too.
I was wrong.
Dead wrong.
The curse of the Ottawa could happen to you.
It doesn’t have to be the Ottawa River.
It does not even have to be a river.
Family members could still die.
I know the curse is true.
My family did die.
It could happen to your family too.
That story will come to you immediately.
More to come after that!
What more?
A Storm Coming In: A story about two men in crisis who meet on a wintry evening.
A Short Story About Love
Murder in Moscow: The Oblast Court Trial
…and more
Just sign up here with your best email address and you’ll get
Curse of the Ottawa immediately!
If you don’t like the stories and books you can just unsubscribe.
Thanks for joining me!
– Frank
If you don’t like the stories and books you can just unsubscribe.
Thanks for joining me!
– Frank
Self-Knowledge College: WHAT’S COMING! (Part 1 of 2) Life Purpose.
Self-Knowledge College: WHAT’S COMING? Life purpose. What do you want and need to be successful?
Yesterday, I told you about my house move and explained why I haven’t been posting for months.
Today, I’ll tell you what’s coming on Self-Knowledge College.
I’ll address the most difficult problems people are suffering from. In two parts.
Today: Part 1. Self-knowledge, work, and success
SELF-KNOWLEDGE
The subject of Self-knowledge is enormous, and while people have many kinds of problems that connect fundamentally to the self (including time management, procrastination, self-esteem, self-confidence, etc.), two BIGGER areas keep spiking: Life Purpose and Love.
TRUE LIFE PURPOSE
The difficulty of finding your life purpose.
It has to do with our work.
That is, why are we here? What is our purpose in life?)
If we get to know that, (and most people never do) what should our career be? Our work?
What should we be doing to use the best of our gifts, talents, and attributes?
The question is, ‘What do I want to be when I grow up!’
And even if you are older, it is NOT too late to ask and answer that question.
I am working on this one-on-one with people on that very question.
The way to establish this is through Self-Knowledge.
- It isn’t simple, but it’s easy, fun and exciting because it is all about you.
- It’s about knowing your real self and acting on that knowledge.
- It’s about opening up all those ideas and dreams you had that were (perhaps) stultified or suppressed because life got in the way.
More about this soon.
NEXT, Part 2. Finding Love in all the RIGHT places!
I’ll introduce the other big problem people are having that can be addressed well through Self-Knowledge: Love.
-Frank
How to promote your book. Free book, free process!
FREE UNTIL JAN 30TH ON AMAZON!
Writers, here’s my book on how to promote your work free on Facebook author and reader group sites.
The book is free.
The process is free and it’s stress-free!
OK, you have to do a little work!
But all it takes is your time to promote your books!
And I’ve done the heavy lifting.
This will save you three + weeks of work searching for these sites yourself.
That took me 3.5 weeks.
And you can do this every time with every book.
Most writers aren’t rich. We need places to promote our work as economically as possible.
This does not mean you don’t have to do other kinds of book marketing but it’s a start.
With it, you can get some visibility, traction and reviews.
This does not bear thinking about.
Just do it.
(And, please write a review of it if you find it will help you. That would help me!)
Thank you.
(It will.)
Frank
http://amzn.to/2jC4CuE
Go get it!
http://amzn.to/2jC4CuE
5.0 out of 5 stars
This is a short book that is packed with a substantial amount of information that is extremely helpful and time-saving f
By Gloria Antypowich on December 23, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
TIME AND EFFORT SAVED!
I really appreciate the time and effort that was put into compiling this handy resource for authors who are promoting their books on Facebook.
The clickable links to the different sites are a real time saver, and this book has already gone into my resources folder in the Kindle app on my computer. I can click on the links right from there.
I also appreciated the spreadsheet (Excel) that Frank Daley included.
It is set up for tracking where and when you have promoted your books, so you do not post too often, and you know exactly where you have posted.
I have already used many of the sites, but there were some that I had not thought of.
And when posting to many sites I found that eventually I could get confused about where I had already posted.
He also made me think about choosing sites where readers and authors will be interested in the genre you write in.
This, rather than putting a great deal of time into promoting on sites where most of the authors and readers prefer books different than yours.
For example, I write contemporary romance, so if most of the people who belong to the site prefer thrillers or paranormal, it will be harder to find people who will read my books. Because they’d be reading something that does not appeal to them.
Daley generously included bonuses that I appreciated.
I immediately sent an email to the link provided in the book to receive his upcoming book about How to Write Great Book Reviews.
This is a short book that is packed with a substantial amount of information that is extremely helpful and time-saving for any author who wants promote their books via Facebook group sites.
I highly recommend it.
Here it is! http://amzn.to/2jC4CuE
Problem-Solving? How about identifying it first. Problem Identification book published worldwide in French!
Problem-solving is a problem!
But that problem just got solved!
My book, What’s Your problem, No, Really, What IS Your Problem, The Sherlock Holmes GuideLuxe to Problem Identification, has just been published in a French translation worldwide.
The translation is by Caroline Begin
This problem-solving little book is now on Tolino, Scribd, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, Nook, Apple and Amazon in French
Here it is on Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cest-quoi-ton-probl-me-s-rieusement-cest-quoi-ton-probl-me-frank-daley/1124807666?ean=2940153561240
Problem-solving in English on Amazon. CLICK HERE
This little book can help you determine the problem you are really trying to solve, instead of the one you think you should be solving!
I assure you, this will help you demolish three blocks (mental, emotional and psychological) that cloud our judgement when trying to solve a serious problem.
(Not how to make a good spaghetti sauce. That problem you can look up!)
This book can have you seeing clearly in just a few minutes.
Ten at the most!
Need help with it?
Just Email me: frankdaley@rogrs.com
Frank
P.S. My college students said this was the best thing they learned in two years!
THE SELF. A series about you. You are too important to skip this.
THE SELF: A SERIES ABOUT YOU
This series has started but you can catch up.
Really, it its too important to ignore (in my opinion and although I’m biased, I’m also right!)
Today, we begin a series on the Self, a series about you and what makes you tick.
You are too important to skip this.
The most complicated thing is the world is a human.
You are much more complicated than a computer–if less predictable–when it’s not acting up!
How do we get to know each other?
How do we get to know ourselves?
That’s what we try to find out at Self-Knowledge College.
EVIL OR …
I used to think some people were evil incarnate.
I still think that’s true, but most are sick rather than evil.
They are mentally, emotionally or psychologically damaged.
We can understand that and be compassionate sometimes but what if they hurt us or our families?
What about the lone wolves like the whacko who killed the people in the club in Orlando recently?
Or the demented person, who, more deranged by what he (accurately, even in his madness) perceived police racism against blacks, killed those policemen in Dallas–even though, even though– the people of Dallas rallied to the policemen’s defense saying that city had pretty good relations with the force.
We know he was deranged yet we have difficulty feeling sympathy for him. Yet we understand the prompt.
But all our sympathy goes to the victims and maybe the father of the killer.
How crazy this gets.
What about those terrorists who killed the writers and cartoonists in Paris?
Were they lone wolves? No.
Were they sent from a foreign land to wreak havoc. No, they were French.
Well, ostensibly French. They were disaffected to put it mildly.
Did they come up with this stuff themselves?
Were they coached and trained elsewhere. Almost certainly.
How much blame can they take? A lot.
Are they evil?
They certainly don’t think so. They think we are evil. They think we are infidels.
It isn’t simply a matter of perspective, of course; this was a terrorist act.
THE GOOD And THE BAD
When you look at people you see good and bad.
Look at Bill Cosby.
BILL COSBY
For decades Cosby was exalted for his sense of humour, his wise comments about growing up, his entertaining presence, his strong options about black men not taking responsibility for their behaviour, especially with regard to women and children.
Now he is defiled–the street evidence seems overwhelming, His first trial has is being set.
Yet how can we ignore all the complaints and accusations. We can’t. Many women have said he took advantage of them in horrendous ways.
How does he square this with his admonitions to young men to take responsibility for their actions?
How can this be the same man?
JIAN GHOMESHI
Few Americans will know him but praised for years, Jian Ghomeshi, a Canadian network radio host has lost his reputation and has a promising career in shreds because of similar accusations by women that are being made about Cosby.
He was a good radio host but a bad person?
Cosby was a great entertainer but an abuser of women?
Legally not proven in either case but the public has made up its mind.
We all “know” that people most people are neither perfectly good or bad.
Do we “know” that for a fact? Most people –we feel–are good; some are simply bad, but most of us are a mixture.
Many say that everyone has a skeleton in his closet. Some of that is completely understandable, even if true. And probably most of those things are not terribly embarassing.
We do things in our youth that, if they were known later, might come back to haunt us.
There was a murder verdict in a Toronto courtroom recently. Two men planned for a year to steal a truck and kill the owner. They did it. Shot him, put him in an industrial machine and burned his and buried his bones. One of the xxxholes was a very rich son of a man (whom is he also accused of murdering). All this idiot had to do was buy a truck (he HAS an airplane) but he did this. Why?
I have no sympathy for this guy.
He has 25 years before they’ll consider parole. His drug seller friend is a moron. He got 25 in the slammer too.
I can think of others things they might have done to these guys as punishment. None of them legal.
Why do rich people shoplift?
I know the psychological explanations that are applied. Are they valid?
THE GOOD AND THE BAD.
I saw a movie called A Good Lie.
A lie for a good reason. OK, that’s possible too. Parents know about that.
We do things in our lives that seem contradictory to what we believe, or at least, what we profess.
Often we have no idea why we do them.
Do men take sexual advantage of women because they feel entitled?
College rape and bad behaviour seems rampant. Alarmingly, some women at some schools sing the same stupid songs about rape during frosh week. What the hell is the matter with them?
Who are we? Why do we do what we do?
Our job on earth is to find out who we are and be our best selves.
Often, we do things out of peer pressure or the desire to be part of the group.
Often we have no idea why we do them.
Here at Self-Knowledge College we DO examine our lives.
And so this week we begin our series on SELF.
Next, Do we Find Ourselves or Create it?
I hope you enjoy the series and discover something new about yourself.
And, please, comment on anything you see pro and con and share with others if you like the articles. (Even if you don’t.)
I’m with you in this.
Frank
P.S. If you are not a subscriber to Self-Knowledge College, please join me.
You will get a lot of information, much of it free, about you.
You can begin by downloading my book FOUR QUESTIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
It’s free too and the download is immediate.
You are important.
Maybe it’s time you got to know yourself.
Forget maybe, it IS time.
I’ll be with you.
Frank
The imposter self syndrome and being smart
THE IMPOSTER SELF SYNDROME
The easiest way to explain The Imposter Self Syndrome is an example from school.
THE BASIC IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Imagine that you are not a very good student.
Let’s say in Math (Getting a little close to home for me there!). You constantly do poorly in math. One day, something good happens, you figure out the question and you solve the problem.
You get an A.
The teacher, thrilled, compliments you and says,
“You’re getting it! This bodes well for the future!”
You sense she is changing her expectations of you.
She expects you to do well the next time and again and again.
You panic.”No, no, you protest, this was an accident, a fluke. I didn’t really know what I was doing.
I was lucky. Don’t expect me to become an A student in math…it isn’t going to happen!”
(The image above, right is the the two-headed Janus suggesting the real you and the imposter or the imposter self syndrome.)
IT WASN’T ME!
You are saying that the success was a mistake, that you were an Imposter in that case.
That your real self is not able to do do math and that it would be unfair and stressful for the teacher to expect more than your usual D or C
(Or, OK, F).
This can be a sign of more difficult applications.
Let me tell you a related short story about this.
We were in grade 11. In algebra class.
Paul and I were not doing well at math.
We were editors of the newspaper, did plays, worked in the social events area, the yearbook, did great in English, etc. but not math.
In fact, Paul and another friend failed to get 50% cumulatively, I believe, in four tests over a whole year.
That is, less than 50 out of 200. Not good.
(In one test, Paul got 12 or something and our other friend got 26. Paul accused him of studying.)
What we did do well was write and perform comedy sketches such as those later seen on Saturday Night Live.
MATH CLASS
We were discussing a sketch in math class one day when the teacher, who could see we were not paying attention–again– called upon Paul to write out last night’s homework on the board.
“Paul,” said the teach. “Come up here and explain theorem no. 7 for us.”
Paul leaned over to me across the aisle.
“Excuse me,” he said. Whereupon he rose, strode to the black board and proceeded to write out the complete theorem perfectly.
The class sat in stunned astonishment.
The teacher had his mouth open and he would have said something but he was struck dumb.
Paul put down the chalk, walked back to his seat and said, “Where were we?”
“How the hell did you know that?” I said.
“I was bored last night so I memorized it, he said. I h ave no friggin’ idea what it means. It’s algebraic.”
It wasn’t that we weren’t smart enough to do math (I could tell you another story about that!), it was that we just didn’t give a damn.
There were reasons: sure: we were more the humanities, English, arts type students. OK.
But we also never had a good math teacher in our lives.
We had four math teachers in grade nine; they left for one reason or another after a month or six weeks each.
(We thought some were kidnapped and killed.)
We never had a math teacher who showed us the magic, the power of math, how it connected with finance or music.
Nothing. Just add up the stupid numbers.
AND do it THIS way, not any other way.
THIS way was: Take a column of numbers : 4, 7, 3, 9, 8, 6, 2 and add up the total.
What you were supposed to do was add, 4, plus 7 (11) plus 3 (14), plus 9 (23), plus 8 (31) plus 6, (37) plus 2 (39)
What I did was add 4 and 6 (10); 7 and 3 (10-running total of 20); 8 and 2 (10, running total of 30) plus 9 for a total of 39.
Whack on the back of the hand!
YOUR’E DOING IT WRONG!
NO!
Wrong!
What? It’s the right answer, isn’t it?
Yes, but you did it wrong.
You have to add the numbers up in order (the crooked ones and the other ones) and you have to do it by doing it the RIGHT way.
You can’t skip around like that.
You can easily make a mistake and we can’t check your work.
(I thought it was easier to make a mistake with 9 and 8 than 8 and 2 but no, it was wrong.)
OK , here are three reasons we didn’t “get” math.
- We were constitutionally not drawn to it
- It was never taught properly which would have caught our interest
- When we did it, even when were did it correctly, we clearly did it wrong.
More reasons? Sure.
The teachers had never been taught teaching skills, were not good at math themselves, and therefore didn’t love it and couldn’t teach it.
We could have been good at math but we weren’t.
OK, fine.
But we had the brains to do it and were capable of seeing the beauty behind it.
Now this leads to to all kinds of things including the North American ineptitude (in general ) with mathematics.
It also leads to the Imposter Syndrome.
Even when we show that we can get it, we are so cowed and fearful based on our experience that we not only don’t do it we say we can’t do it.
We are incapable of doing it.
We say that the persons who did well on that on that test or question was not us.
That was not me.
That was an imposter.
MOVE IT FROM MATH TO LIFE
We take it from being normal you to being a fake you in the imposter self syndrome.
- What if you are fake, posing as real?
- What if you are sad, posing as happy?
- What if you are gay, posing as straight?
- What if you are married, posing as single?
- What if you are jobless, posing as employed?
- What if you are introverted, posing as extroverted?
Are you in the imposter self syndrome in any aspect of your life?
Would you like to change that?
First you have to know yourself so you have a floor, a base, a core of identity.
Most people do not know themselves so acting as themselves is impossible.
Thomas Merton, the philosopher, says this:
“Before we can realize who we really are, we must become conscious of the fact that the person we think we are, here and now, is at best an imposter and a stranger.”
He’s writing about people who have not done any rigorous examination of who they are, not people who have done so.
He’s saying that without that self-examination we rely on superficialities of our identity.
Not necessarily as superficial as height, weight, and hair and eye color, but habits, inclinations, guesses and preferences about personality and character.
WE LIKE MORE COMPLEX THINGS AS WE GET OLDER
When we are younger for example, we may we like plain colors whereas when we are older we prefer more complex patterns and color schemes.
When young we prefer simple plots and stories but when we are more experienced in life we don’t see things in back and white any more and prefer more context, back-story, and multi-themed books and movies.
We are not drawn to the same things at 16 as at 20, or 30, or 50.
He doesn’t mean we are being deceitful when we are young or when we haven’t investigated ourselves but that we haven’t plumbed any depth to our character and values.
But other people (family, friends, lovers see us in ways we don’t and they may detect some distance between what we press ourselves to be and what we really are.
So we come across to others as shallow when in reality we are deep but unexcavated.
He means we have to play detective to ourselves to unearth the levels of our personality and character.
This takes work and time.
If you haven’t done the work or spent the time, because life is hard and busy–which is completely understandable, perhaps this is the moment for you to see yourself as you really are.
This “imposter” word doesn’t mean you are being fraudulent.
It doesn’t mean you are deceitful or manipulative.
It doesn’t have anything to do with other people directly necessarily.
THE IMPOSTER SELF SYNDROME
The Imposter Self Syndrome means that you might be not be being YOU in the fullest sense.
You might even be fooling yourself.
We have only so many years of life–some fewer than others.
At some point we should figure out who we are–really-and what we want.
It doesn’t matter how old you are or what education you have or whether you are a “success” in the world’s terms.
None of that matters.
What matters is what you think and feel about yourself.
If you are fine with that, then you are fine.
FROM IMPOSTER TO REAL PERSON
If you are not fine with it, why not engage with me in an investigation of a citizen under suspicion: YOU.
The suspicion that you might not be all you can be, that you are projecting a presence, a self, that is not as authentic as it can be.
Does this mean you will leave your spouse, change your career or go off into a monastery?
No, but it could result in you making some changes that you have been getting intimations of for years.
It could be that those random thoughts, feelings, memories or conjectures are telling you something about yourself that you should follow up on.
If so, email me and we can discuss the imposter self syndrome and see if it applies to you.
Briefly, at no cost whatsoever.
I’ll be with you.
Join me at Self-Knowledge College
It’s free and place where you can learn more about YOU.
-Frank
Multiple Intelligences: Ten Kinds of Smart–Pt. 2 how are you smart? (You are!)
MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES
TEN KINDS OF SMART. HOW ARE YOU SMART?
PART 2. How are you smart?
(Second in a series of four articles on how to discover how smart you are.)
MISSED THE FIRST ONE?
Here it is.
Smart: ten ways. Part 1 How Smart Are You? How are You Smart?
SMART. In the first article in this four-part series on how smart you are we discussed how and why you might have missed becoming aware of how smart you are and in which ways. Today we discuss multiple intelligences.
Not everybody gets all the gravy in life.
God gave each of us gifts, talents and abilities but she didn’t give us them all.
The problem is, that before this century began, people decided how smart we were in grade school with inadequate methods and information and that meant we had a high probability of being sent on educational tracks to kinds of schools that didn’t suit us.They measured our I.Q (intelligence quotient) in restricted ways.
THE OLD WAY OF DETERMINING I.Q WAS SEVERELY LIMITED
That led to a lack of interest in school, frustration, attitude and behavior problems (“That kid doesn’t fit in.”) and in many cases, school dropouts.
And that led to lives of misery and a lack of fulfillment.
If it didn’t happen to you, you know of people who suffered from this.
Sadly, it continues today at alarming rates.
That’s another story, but in some places up to 50% of kids don’t graduate from high school.
Of those who do graduate and go to college, most are not adequately prepared academically or personally and they drift, switch programs, or give up in other ways (drugs, gambling; self-harm and suicide).
The graduation rates from college are alarming in many places in North America.
The damage that is done to people is astounding.
And WHY does this happen? Because they never learned who they are and what they want out of life–they never learned what their special gifts and talents were. And that lack led to frustration, sadness, despair and it ruined their lives.T hey failed to even consider multiple intelligences.
If this happened to you, you are still unhappy about it.
Well, we can fix it.
- The first thing to do is realize it can be corrected.
- You can discover your talents and use them profitably.
- The second thing is to know we do it through self-knowledge.
HOWARD GARDNER: Multiple (TEN) INTELLIGENCES!
Prof. Howard Gardner of Harvard identified seven distinct intelligences in his book Frames of Mind in the 80s.
In 1999 he added the intelligence of the naturalist.He added two more recently (see below).
Several researchers say some of the things he calls ‘intelligences’ are really ‘aptitudes.’
Who cares? We’re just trying to identify our strengths so we can develop them. We don’t much care what people call them although it is better to use the same language so we don’t get confused in discussion. But, in any case, most people agree with Gardner now and we’ll call them intelligences here.
According to his original theory, “we are all able to know the world through the following:
- language
- logical-mathematical analysis
- spatial representation
- music
- the use of the body to solve problems or to make things
- an understanding of other individuals
- an understanding of ourselves .” (Self-knowledge, in my terms). He later added these.
- naturalistic
- teaching-pedogogical
- existential or spiritua
FEELING BETTER, NOW?
He added naturalistic intelligence in 1999.
” If I were to rewrite Frames of Mind today, I would probably add an eighth intelligence – the intelligence of the naturalist. seems to me that the individual who is readily able to recognize flora and fauna, to make other consequential distinctions in the natural world, and to use this ability productively (in hunting, in farming, in biological science) is exercising an important intelligence and one that is not adequately encompassed in the current list.” Gardner, H. (1995). Reflections on multiple intelligences: Myths and messages. Phi Delta Kappan, 77, 200-209. (All this from Wikipedia)
He had more to say about all this.
- “On January 13, 2016, Gardner mentioned in an interview with BigThink that he is considering adding the teaching-pedagogical intelligence “which allows us to be able to teach successfully to other people.”
- In the same interview, he explicitly refused some other suggested intelligences like humour, cooking and sexual intelligence. (So forget that, you guys.)
- “These categories are not mutually exclusive and you can have several of them to varying degrees. Where individuals differ is in the varying strengths of these intelligences and in the ways in which we combine them to perform tasks and solve problems.”
We have to add (in theory) those three additional kinds off intelligence.
So I did.
THESE DIFFERENCES CHALLENGE EDUCATION
When educators fail to consider multiple intelligences they are wasting lives.
Gardner says that these differences “challenge an educational system that assumes that everyone can learn the same materials in the same way and that a uniform, universal measure suffices to test student learning.
“Indeed, as currently constituted, our educational system is heavily biased toward linguistic modes of instruction and assessment and, to a somewhat lesser degree, toward logical-quantitative modes as well,” Gardner says.
I agree.
You can see how schools that don’t use this theory can miss a lot of abilities that their students possess. You, maybe, for example.
Gardner argues “Students learn in ways that are identifiably distinctive… society as a whole would be better served if disciplines could be presented in a numbers of ways and learning could be assessed through a variety of means.”
The learning styles as described by Gardner (and agreed upon in general in the field) are as follows: See which learning styles appeal to you. This will help you determine your strengths on our journey to self-knowledge.
Multiple intelligence examples.
- Linguistic – You use words effectively. You have highly developed auditory skills and often think in words. You like reading, playing word games, making up poetry or stories. You like learning by saying and seeing words and reading books. Tools you like to use include computers, games, multimedia, books, tape recorders, podcasts, and lectures.
- Logical -Mathematical – You are good at reasoning and calculating. You think conceptually, abstractly, and are able to see and explore patterns and relationships. You like to experiment, solve puzzles, ask cosmic questions. You like learning logic games, investigations and mysteries. You need to learn and form concepts before you can deal with details.
- Visual-Spatial – You think in terms of physical space, as do architects and sailors. You are aware of your environment. You like to draw, do jigsaw puzzles, read maps and daydream. You learn through drawings, verbal and physical imagery. Tools you like include models, graphics, charts, photographs, drawings, 3-D modeling, video, videoconferencing, television, multimedia, texts with pictures/charts/graphs.
- Musical – You show sensitivity to rhythm and sound. You love music, but you are also sensitive to sounds. You might study better with music in the background. You like learning by turning lessons into lyrics, speaking rhythmically, tapping out time, rapping. Tools you like include musical instruments, radio, stereo, CD-ROM, multimedia. TV, video, and video games.
- Bodily-kinesthetic – You use your body effectively, like a dancer or a surgeon. You have a keen sense of body awareness. You like movement, making things, touching. You communicate well through body language and learn through physical activity, hands-on learning, acting out, and role-playing. Favorite tools include equipment and physical objects.
- Interpersonal – You love understanding people, (and are good at it) and interacting with others. You learn through interaction. You have many friends, empathy for others, street smarts. You like learning through group activities, seminars and dialogues. Special tools for you include the telephone, audio and video conferencing, webinars, tele-seminars, time and attention from the instructor, writing, computer conferencing, E-mail, social media, etc.
- Intrapersonal – You understand your own interests and goals. You tend to shy away from others. You’re in tune with your inner feelings; you have wisdom, intuition and motivation, as well as a strong will, confidence and opinions. You like to learn through independent study and introspection. Tools include books, creative materials, diaries, privacy and time. You are the most independent of learners. You probably have the most highly developed self-knowledge.
- Naturalistic “If I were to rewrite Frames of Mind today,(he writes) I would probably add an eighth intelligence – the intelligence of the naturalist. seems to me that the individual who is readily able to recognize flora and fauna, to make other consequential distinctions in the natural world, and to use this ability productively (in hunting, in farming, in biological science) is exercising an important intelligence and one that is not adequately encompassed in the current list.” Gardner, H. (1995). Reflections on multiple intelligences: Myths and messages. Phi Delta Kappan, 77, 200-209.This area has to do with nurturing and relating information to one’s natural surroundings.[8] Examples include classifying natural forms such as animal and plant species and rocks and mountain types. This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef.[7] This sort of ecological receptiveness is deeply rooted in a “sensitive, ethical, and holistic understanding” of the world and its complexities–including the role of humanity within the greater ecosphere.[15](Wikipedia)
- Teaching-pedagogical intelligence. You are a good analyst; you are perceptive, want to help people; can synthesize well.
- Existential Gardner did not want to commit to a spiritual intelligence, but suggested that an ‘existential” intelligence may be a useful construct, also proposed after the original 7 in his 1999 book. The hypothesis of an existential intelligence’ has been further explored by educational researchers.” (Wikipedia)
Are you with me here? There are more intelligences than people used to think.
They were always there, of course, but nobody considered them as “intelligence.”
Thats OK, for our purposes, they show us that we, you and I, are intelligent.
We just have to identify which of these multiple intelligences we possess.
(You can have more than one!)
Hang on–this is going to be fun!
WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS?
You probably have some of several of these qualities, a combination of them. Finding out which ones and to what degrees is part of the excitement and fun of learning about yourself.
(We’ll discuss Learning Styles in another place; that’s how many refer to these kinds of learning. But here’s a primer.
You know how you learn best—at least most of the time. And you can also learn to love other methods if the right teacher presents them in the right way, at the right time.
OK, you have some ways now of determining what your learning styles are.
FEEL DISCOUNTED?
- If you feel you have been discounted regarding your talents, gifts and abilities
- If people told you you weren’t smart enough to…do whatever!
- Maybe it’s time you got that sorted out. Because you can.
You are smart and I can prove it.
I can show you how to be more successful in your personal and professional life on your own terms.
Join me at Self-Knowledge College
When you do , you’ll get a short book called Four Questions to Change Your Life!
After you read it you will know whether you want more from me or not. Pretty simple.
I’m not going to sell you anything. You will either want this material or you don’t need it.
Or email me for a free chat about you and your possibilities.
That would be smart!
Stand by for part three in this short series on how smart you are and how you are smart!
It comes soon.
Frank
P.S. Gardner, in his book Frames of Mind explains his theory. There’s a new edition.
You Do have to love yourself before you can love another person.
You have to love yourself before you can love another person
An open letter to Sheena Sharma and everyone else who believes you can love someone else before you love y0urself.
Dear Sheena,
Actually, you Do have to love yourself before you can love another.
Sometimes articles are so full of implicit wrongheaded density that replying to them in jest, dismissing them or calling the writer on just one point isn’t suitable or helpful. It just contributes to the fogginess of the writers’ and the responders’ intended messages.
And it sure doesn’t help the reader.
Most of the time, I imagine responders just throw up their hands, knowing how much time and energy it will take to respond properly. So they don’t respond.
Then what happens on line is what Mark Twain said about newspapers:
“If you don’t read the newspapers, you’re uninformed.
If you do read the newspapers, you’re misinformed.”
That’s the case here.
Sheena Sharma, has an article in Elite Magazine, entitled, Actually, You Don’t Have To Learn To Love Yourself First Before You Love Someone Else in which she shows herself to be a searcher (which is good) but simultaneously proves herself wrong (which is not so good) and castigates people who believe the truth, the opposite of what she thinks (which is not so good).
My reaction was one of both frustration and compassion I understand where she’s coming from but it isn’t a good place and it doesn’t lead to good conclusions.
So I am responding.
Sheena is candid and self-revelatory and says:
“I’m immature, I’m emotionally unavailable, and I deserve to be with men who are also emotionally unavailable. As true as those first two statements may be, I let the third have such a hold over me that it keeps me from getting serious with someone. It’s as if I’m actively playing into my own worst nightmare. I dislike myself, so I can’t like someone else, I’ve decided.”
Well, she’s right about the first part (immature and emotionally unavailable) but not the part about deserving bad things.
“You don’t love yourself!” Gigi (a friend of Sheena’s) shouted to me across the dinner table.
“You’re right,” I (Sheena) said unapologetically… “I’m not denying that. I’m just waiting until I start loving myself, and then I’m sure I’ll find someone.”
“My eyes darted around the room. I wasn’t sure anyone believed me. And to tell you the truth, I’m not entirely sure I believed myself.”
Well, waiting until you love y0urself is not a good game plan. It will never happen.
Love is an act of the will towards good. You have to recognize good and act on it.
If you have not been taught self-love, you must do it yourself, you must act.
Then she writes that her friend, Gigi said: “I think you use not loving yourself as an excuse to avoid a real relationship.”
Sheena says: “I clammed up. See, I didn’t want Gigi to be right, but she was.”
Yes she was. But Gigi is not quite right. It is not an excuse, it is a valid reason.
(She –Sheena– then said that she makes bad decisions about her life.)
“And my unwavering belief that I deserve something — someone — bad stops me from having anything worth having,” she adds.
“I’m immature, I’m emotionally unavailable, and I deserve to be with men who are also emotionally unavailable. As true as those first two statements may be, I let the third have such a hold over me that it keeps me from getting serious with someone. It’s as if I’m actively playing into my own worst nightmare. I dislike myself, so I can’t like someone else, I’ve decided.”
Right again, and I began feeling for Sheena. Then she says this:
“The trouble is we’ve been spoon-fed the same piece of advice since the dawn of time: the ever-so-famous line, “You have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. But does anyone fully ever love herself? I certainly don’t think so. So when Gigi told me I was using lack of self-love as a weapon to defend myself, I was more confused than I’ve ever been.”
Now I like her and want to talk with her. But here is where she gets into trouble.
“I don’t love myself,”she says, “but I also don’t hate myself. Some days, I’m pleasantly satisfied, and other days I feel like an epic embarrassment to myself. No feeling I feel is permanent. I am static and ever-changing and unsure and certain all at the same time. I think it’s naive to definitively say “I love myself.” And if you can say that and mean it, well, I call bullsh*t on you.”
So she doesn’t understand the concept of self-love and she doesn’t think you can love yourself all the time and if you say you do, you are a bull-shitter. I get it and my heart goes out to her. And she’s right about people not going around all day saying they love themselves. But nobody ever said they did. She is hurt and lashing out. I understand and sympathize.
THIS IS A HUGE ISSUE FOR MANY
But let’s restrict ourselves to this one column (much of which is here already; the whole of which is linked to below).Sheena is confused about what self-love is and since she doesn’t love herself, she worries about the future. Well she might.
Here’s her whole column: http://elitedaily.com/dating/you-dont-have-to-love-yourself-first/1482784/
But look first at her past. She writes:
“When I was 19, I was diagnosed with body dysmorphia. It changed my life. Having it made me realize that I had incredible amounts of work to do on myself. Now at 25, I’m still battling the same demons, even though they’re not quite as evil as they used to be. But they are still very much alive. They’ve transformed, even, branching out into other problems, like f*ckboy-hopping and having so much anxiety that I can’t sleep at night. I’m still working on myself, and I don’t see “Project: Self-Help” ending anytime soon.
She is right. (By the way, I checked out her post above and it came with a picture of her. She’s very nice looking!)
She says she has a “mental” problem and she certainly does.
I’m going to parse more of what she says about herself.
“I look around at my imperfect friends in good, healthy relationships. I covet what they have. As impossible as it seems to find someone who will not only love my imperfections, but love me because of them, I know it’s actually possible.”
No, Sheena, it is not possible; they won’t love you because of your imperfections–what planet do you live on? We don’t love anyone FOR their imperfection, and people do not have to buy into your neuroses.
No, they’ll love you in in spite of your imperfections. Come on, if you are the editor and writer you claim to be, you know words mean specific things.You are reacting emotionally, which is understandable, but you also have to edit. You haven’t.
WHEN SHE MEETS ‘THE ONE”
“When I meet “the one, (Sheena writes) I won’t expect him to fill those holes in me where wounds used to be. (Good.) But I don’t expect myself to fill them, either. Maybe those pockets of emptiness can’t be filled by anyone or anything, and that’s what makes us beautiful. (What?) Maybe two people don’t need to love themselves to be together, and maybe they don’t need to feel complete with each other. Maybe they can just … stay incomplete. Together.”
Wow, a lot to deal with here.
- First: there is no ONE, no perfect partner, no soul mate. No one person on earth that heaven has prepared for you. That is romantic hogwash.
- Second: no, he won’t be able to fill those holes in you. You are your own person. He will not “complete you.” Even if he could (he can’t) that is not his job. That’s YOUR job.
- Third: The pockets of emptiness may not be able to be filled–not all of them anyway–but some of them had better be, or there’ll be serious trouble. Like separation, divorce and a lot of pain. But you have to fill them, not him.
- Fourth: That emptiness is not what makes you beautiful. Many other things do, but not emptiness. Trying to fill the emptiness, OK, I’d buy that.
- Fifth: ‘maybe two people don’t need to love themselves to be together.’ That’s true, they don’t, but either
- a) they will not remain together or
- b) they will and be unhappy. No other possibilities exist.
- Sixth: Yes, they can stay incomplete together. Look around, many couples do. That’s a great solution, right?
Back to the beginning
Her comment, “I think it’s naive to definitively say “I love myself.” And if you can say that and mean it, well, I call bullsh*t on you.” is demonstrably wrong.
You set up a straw dog and offer an (erroneous and even fatuous) interpretation of self-love, cut it down, then castigate anyone who doesn’t agree with you.
No one with an I.Q. above room temperature believes self-love is
- a) being “in-love” with yourself or
- b) believes you are in a state of ecstasy about loving yourself all the time.
That’s ridiculous.
Self-love means you love yourself, period. It means you have done interior work: examined yourself, analyzed yourself, know your strengths and weakness, are working on your strengths, have or will change what you can that you dislike about yourself, or want to improve, know yourself, accepted yourself, care for yourself, and can get on with life.
Of course, you are going to have days when you don’t feel loveable, we all do, but you understand that the love you feel is for your authentic self, not the presenting self that screwed something up today.
We all do that.
But those of us who love ourselves brush it off; those who don’t, frankly, do what you do (read your own article for details).
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
- You must love yourself first, because otherwise you can’t truly love anyone else.
- If you do not love yourself, you cannot love anyone else because you can’t give away what you don’t have.
- Worse, you can’t accept love from anyone else because you “know” you are not loveable. It isn’t true, but you accept it and act on it as if it was true.
- You feel you are not worthy, so if anyone expresses love to you, you think they are kidding, lying, stupid or manipulative.
- You unconsciously push people away; you reject them before they reject you.
It is wrong-headed self-protection but sadly, it is common.
You are wrong about love, and yourself, and other people, but you believe, and feel, and think, that you are right.
YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF
There is worse news.
If you don’t know yourself, three bad things will happen to you.
- You won’t be with the right person.
- You won’t be in the right work.
- You won’t be happy.
The last one follows from the first two.
You know this already, I’m just reminding you.
Finally, Sheena writes,
“No, I don’t love myself. But that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to love and be loved.”
That IS true; you do deserve to be loved.
But it won’t happen on a truly equal basis until you learn to love yourself.
I can teach you.
Visit me at Self-Knowledge College
Or email me: frankdaley@rogers.com
Frank
P.S. Sheena, I apologize for being a little rough on your arguments but you don’t get to be publicly wrong, insult others and be self-justified all at the same time without somebody calling you on it.
Em me: frankdaley@rogers.com and we’ll talk.
I’m serious. You can get through this.
P.P.S. Got a comment on this story? Please enter the conversation.
Frank Daley's interview with Engel Jones from Trinidad on Self-Knowledge College
Frank Daley’s interview with Engel Jones.
Frank Daley was interviewed by Engel Jones, a Trinidadian who interviews a variety of people on his podcast.
His show is called 12 minute Convos (for conversations) and he is broadcasting a series of interviews with all sorts of people (not just people who are on Internet in marketing or publishing).
The people and subjects are wide-ranging and his easy manner ensures some good listening.
Of course, I talk a little about my work on Self-Knowledge College and Dropout to Dean’ s List but he also asked me some questions you might find in People Magazine!
I told him the three things that will happen to you if you don’t know yourself’
1. You won’t be with the right person.
2. You won’t be in the right job.
3. You won’t be happy.
and I reminded him of the two bad things that will happen,if you do not love yourself:
- You won’t be able to love anyone else because you can’t give away what you don’t have.
- You won’t be able to accept love from anyone else because you will “know” that you are not a loveable person, not a person worthy of love (well, you don’t even love yourself and so if anyone else expresses affection or regard for you you will unconsciously become suspicious of them. You will think they are ignorant, that they are stupid, that they want something from you, that they are manipulative or some other bad thing or else they would realize the “truth” that you know–that you are not loveable.
The fact that this is unconscious –usually–not always, makes no difference.Interview with Engel Jones from Trinidad
http://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/5/3/9/5394ebcc69200043/22_Frank_Daley.mp3?c_id=11490248&expiration=1465064918&hwt=5c67650b1073e2532219e69128bacde1
If you enjoy it, you might like to hear more of his interviews.
He’s on Facebook at Engel Jones.
(For some reason the url will not paste here! but when you are the site from my interview you should be able to carry on!)
Frank
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