Lack of Self-Knowledge: Reason #3
#3 They think they are not smart enough
- whether you are a night-owl or an early riser;
- what your favorite foods are;
- what you favorite kinds of movies and books are, etc.
THE WAY TO SUCCESS IN YOUR PERSONAL, ACADEMIC AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE.
by daleyfrank0
by daleyfrank0
It’s not.
Yes, it takes work, but it is also exciting because it focuses on the most important person on the planet—YOU!
We’re talking jobs here, careers, work.
Imagine you are back in school.
Grab a piece of chalk.
Go to the front of the room.
Turn your back to the job wall.
Over your shoulder, throw a piece of chalk at that wall.
Wherever it strikes a brick, that’s your job for life.
You can’t aim it or have second tries.
Throw, hit, accept.
That’s it.
Do you like that idea?
A THROW OF THE DICE OR WORSE?
You don’t know yourself well enough to select a college program or a job that suits your abilities, talents and gifts, so you choose at random.
Because you do not KNOW your talents, gifts, and abilities. Or you go into a job because your father did it. Or because your friends are going into it. Or because it’s the ‘next big thing’. Or because it’s trendy.
We just have to understand that there IS a choice, and we need the information to make it responsibly, carefully and successfully.
It isn’t difficult to “get” it if we know the consequences of NOT getting it.
by daleyfrank0
Most people are reluctant to go on an interior journey of the “self.” They offer one or more of six objections. I’ll write about them for the next week.
See if any of them apply to you.
by daleyfrank0
Many people in our society tell children to “be yourself.”
This is well-meaning advice but impossible to do and totally wasted advice if the child does not ‘know herself.’
It is said mostly to young girls and boys who admittedly, have a herd mentality about many things.
Being yourself is not high on the list.
Teenagers (and even younger children) want the same heavily advertised material thing. Think of clothes, movie stars, and running shoes.
Parents are trying to get them to be more independent, to think for themselves, but everybody wants to be part of the group.
Nobody wants to be different.
Being different usually translates as being alone or being a nerd and ultimately alone.
Nobody wants to be alone.
But you can’t be yourself if you are different and you conform.
Parents say to their children, ‘Just be you, just be yourself.’
Note the word ‘just.’
We see this every day on TV. A parent has a child murdered and she says to a reporter, “I just want my child back.”
The request is touching but hopeless because she says she just wants what is ‘impossible.’
It isn’t ‘just”anything; it is everything.
‘Just’ implies a little thing, a morsel in the feast of what we want. But immediately we go for the ultimate: Bring my child back to life.
We know what parents mean when the give the advice “be yourself”–they mean:
So the word ‘just’ in this application is not helpful.
Parents say as if it was an easy thing to do, as if when you look at all the difficult things you have to do, that being yourself is simple and easy.
The hope is that this recommendation will eliminate all the stress that accompanies being torn between being yourself and going with the crowd.
It’s supposed to solve all your problems.
Everyone knows that’s nonsense, but people continue to say it, probably because trying to think of something really effective to say to a teenager is too complicated or difficult. (Well, they’re right about that!)
Not that the idea is worthless.
The most important person in the world is you.
Not your mother.
Not your boyfriend.
Not your husband.
You!
To be yourself means first, you have to know yourself.
That comes first, but is ignored or skipped over in the advice columns.
At Self-Knowledge College and Dropout to Dean’s List, I help people get to know themselves better so they can be more successful in their personal, academic and professional lives–on their own terms.
If you, or someone you know, would benefit from learning more about themselves just email me.
We’ll set up a brief, FREE conversation that could prove advantageous.
frankdaley@rogers.com
Frank
by daleyfrank0
Why writing is important to my business success and your personal success through Self-knowledge.
My business is Self-Knowledge College.
My sister site is Dropout to Dean’s List (for at-risk students).
My work is helping people know themselves so they can make better decisions for themselves and find success on their own terms in their personal and professional lives.
It involves teaching people to know themselves and self-knowledge by itself isn’t going to attract many people on it’s own.
It’s not “sexy” enough.
It doesn’t provide an immediate, downloadable result for $100, much less $47.
People have a lot of psychological, emotional and mental objections (most of them unconscious) to the idea of learning more about themselves.
How am I doing? I’m not sure. I have written in many forms professionally with good results but writing to you is more difficult. There isn’t a lot of feedback so far so it’s difficult to know whether I’m reaching you or not. This is an attempt to explain why writing is important for my work of helping you and important for you in your work of knowing yourself better.
I was going to say that writing is not the only way to reach you—there are such things as podcast, videos, teleseminars, webinars, speaking from the stage etc., but all of them involve writing as a first step.
I have used none of these yet, except public speaking—although I intend to—but when I do, I’ll l have to write scripts, outlines, drafts of posts, courses or books, notes for Voice/over videos, scripts for on-camera videos etc.
All of them involve writing.
Writing—words— are the best way to reach people because apparently something happened in their childhoods that prevented other methods of reaching them from taking effect.
What are some of these?
Poor parenting is one (often unavoidable given the problems of growing up having children–while still being children in many ways themselves) and having to take responsibility for raising them while struggling with their own education, work and lack of self-awareness.
A lack of someone, somehow, using words (and yes, non-verbal displays of affection) to reach the child and tell them of their many gifts, talents and abilities. This lack of words has led to people not appreciating themselves, not knowing themselves and therefore not loving themselves. That a part is crucial because if you don’t know yourself, you can’t love yourself—you can’t love what you don’t know.
Many people in North America are immigrants with little formal education in their own languages much less familiarity with English. Writing—basic, simple, transformative language— is necessary to reach these citizens.
My thesis is that if you don’t know yourself three bad things will happen to you in life:
You won’t be happy because of the first two.
Fighting our way through life, as we all must, requires some education, either formal or informal and each of these require language. I need language—writing—to reach people on a deep level.
Our lives are filled with superficialities, meretricious attempts to distract us from our life purpose.
And what if we can’t even define our purpose?
You need language too, in order to probe yourself, rigorously investigate yourself, to determine your authentic self. Since most of us are adults—even my at-risk students are adults—we need some way to be alerted to the notion that learning more about who we are and what we want in life is monumentally important.
Important, and while not easy—it does require work to get to know yourself—it is also amazingly interesting and rewarding. Who is more interesting, more important, not in an entitled way, but in a profound way—than you are?
Nobody.
But you can’t help anyone else unless and until you are secure and confident in yourself, in your emotional, psychological and spiritual self. Nor can you help yourself much because you don’t know who you are and what you want or what questions to ask and answer and what directions or paths to take.
Words, writing, in some form or another (film scripts, TV shows, movies, slide shows–are all based on writing), is the best way to communicate, to reach people, to suggest, to seduce, to persuade to convince them they that they are important and worthy and can be better.
We all want be better, to improve ourselves, but we put obstacles in our own way, we self-sabotage for myriad reasons.
Words—writing and reading— can eventually cut through the bafflegab of life.
When you know yourself you become a jet-propelled activist on behalf of yourself.
You can’t help but get better when you know yourself.
It is not possible to fail at self-knowledge if you stick with it.
It’ll take some time (and granted, you’ll never know everything about yourself because you are too complicated and life is too short) but it is easily possible to learn something new about yourself every day.
Join me in private or group work using my book, Who Are You and What Are You Doing Here? The way to know yourself and get what you want.
But first you must begin. And you begin by reading and listening to my words, through writing and speaking to you.
Self-knowledge needs words to go deep in your job of self-detection.
It doesn’t matter if you are formally well educated or not—life has taught you many things.
I can teach you to harness those things, sort them out and prepare a system to follow things about you—or at least I can lead you to discover them.
One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to write about yourself.
That’s one of the things I will help you do if we work together.
If I say Self-Knowledge, that’s because that’s what the core, the essence of you is.
But we don’t constantly speak of Self-Knowledge in the abstract.
We use the right words to examine the presenting problems that are keeping you awake at night or causing you stress during the day.
I try to use simple, direct, clear language in my writing to examine things such as problems with time management, procrastination, goal-setting, the ability choose a college program or career path or even choosing a life partner.
We all know that one can be a life-destroyer.
If you don’t know yourself you can’t love yourself because you can’t love something or somebody you don’t know.
It gets worse.
If you don’t love yourself, you can’t accept love from anyone else. Something inside you will subconsciously push that person away because you KNOW you are loveable.
This stuff doesn’t go away until and unless you address it. I have to use language, words, writing, to reach you and convince you things can be better in your personal and professional life.
You have to use them to be a gold detective of your inner self.
If you read and respond to my words.
The words, the writing, are important to me but they are also important to you if you need my assistance in gaining Self-Knowledge.
Or even if you don’t.
Join me at Self-Knowledge College.
For a FREE consultation, a strategy session, just email me at daleyfrank0@gmail.com
or call me at 905-584-0617.
If you could do it yourself, you would have done it by now.
Write to me as I do to you.
I’m with you in this.
-Frank
Contact Info:
daleyfrank0@gmail.com
905-584-0617
by daleyfrank0
I wrote it because I need to research it to promote my own work (selling books ain’t easy…they say a book is published every 5 minutes on Amazon!).
Not my usual topics–self-knowledge, self-development, self-growth, etc. but necessary for me to do.
If you download it (you might find it worth a skim!) it helps Amazon see it as being interesting and give it some attention regarding traction.
YOU DON’T EVEN NEED A KINDLE TO READ IT.
ON THE ORDER PAGE, THERE ARE SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS FOR YOU tO DOWNLOAD THE APP FOR A KINDLE READER ONTO YOUR OWN COMPUTER (or other device).
IF YOU HAVEN’T DONE THIS, YOU MIGHT LIKE THAT ASPECT TOO!
Here’s the link to the Amazon kindle page for the book.
http://www.amazon.com/Free-Facebook-Book-Promo-Sites-ebook/dp/B017QGTIOY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1449609545&sr=1-1&keywords=Frank+Daley
It’s getting 5-stars reviews except for one character! ( I think he has an issue!)
Anyway it would help me of you downloaded it and too look at it.
There is one other weird thing…Amazon is actually apparently able to track whether people ‘read”a book they downloaded.
They can ‘see” how many pages people went through.
They can’t really tell if you truly read it (which, of course, is skewing the analysis of this procedure–life is a construct!) so if you do download it, just flip through it (laughing) and they will know you’ve paid great attention to it!
Anyway it might help me get a little traction for the book.
http://www.amazon.com/Free-Facebook-Book-Promo-Sites-ebook/dp/B017QGTIOY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1449609545&sr=1-1&keywords=Frank+Daley
Thanks for doing it.
Frank
by daleyfrank0
My book on helping you save time, money, mistakes is trending on Amazon!
This book will save you three weeks’ work…more actually!
That’s what it took me so get this info ready.
CLICK BELOW TO GET THE BOOK! It’s $2.99 this week!
101+Free Facebook Book Promotion Sites
The book will show you where to promote your books free on more than 100 Amazon Facebook groups that love writers and readers.
Of course, this is useful only for writers but if you do write and publish on Amazon kindle, this is a HUGE Bargain. $2.99 today.
Saves you three weeks work!
What’s your time worth?
Frank
by daleyfrank0
Friends, I have just published a new book on Amazon.
It is not my usual subject, Self-Knowledge. It is a marketing book for writers who have to promote their books without sufficient financial resources.
It is FREE today and tomorrow (Nov. 12-13)
It is called: 200+FREE FACEBOOK BOOK PROMO SITES. ANNOTATED TO SAVE YOU TIME, MONEY and MISTAKES
It would help me if you would download it from Amazon and click through the pages.
I’ll explain.
A book is published on Amazon every 5 minutes. And there are 3.5 million books there already! Getting any kind of traction is an almost impossible adventure.
One good way is to advertise but that take a LOT of money.
Another way is to promote the book on free sites which cater to readers and writers. My book helps authors do that. It’s still not terrific but it helps!
And you don’t even have to buy the book or read it! (I know, I know!) I’m offering it free for the next two days (and .99 for some days after).
Why? To get people interested. To get some traction, some attention.
If Amazon sees people are downloading it they (might!) take some notice. But lots of people offer free books.
Nothing happens without reviews, however. I have 3 up now (all 5-stars) and I’ll be getting 20-30 more in the next few a days.
That, along with many downloads, starts to get Amazon interested enough to (maybe) promote the book a little themselves.
Their goal is is to get more sales so they make more money, of course.
I’ll gradually raise the price to the opening price of $7.97.
Download the book and click through it. You don’t have to read it , although you might find it interesting you are a writer or a marketer!
That’s it. Amazon’s algorithms will count you as an interested party (they can even tell if you ‘read ‘it or not, and how much if it!). (Now they can’t tell if you actually read it but they tell how many pages you turned!)
IT’s DR. EVIL!
(Don’t even ask!)
Anyway that’s it.
(It’ll take about 3 minutes!)
If you do not have a Kindle, no problem.
Scroll down the page a couple of inches and you’ll see a button to download the app for kindle. (It’ll work on most devices). It’s free.
Download the book.
Flip through the pages.
That’s it!
If you like it and are interested please leave a review. (No need to do that!)
I’ll report how things go!
-Frank
by daleyfrank0
The big difference between the self-concept and self-esteem is that the self-concept refers in general to the thinking aspect of self as it relates to our self-image (that is, how we see ourselves as related to others in a cognitive or thinking way) while self-esteem refers to the affective or emotional aspect, or the way we feel about ourselves.
The self-concept is “the totality of a complex, organized, and dynamic system of learned beliefs, attitudes and opinions that each person holds to be true about his or her personal existence.” (W. Purkey. 1998. An Overview of self-concept theory for counselors.)
That’s pretty clear–almost everything and anything we think or believe or have learned (from others and from our own actions and experiences.)
Franken says that a great deal of research indicates that the self-concept is the basis for all motivated behavior (R. Franken Human Motivation. 3rd ed. 1994)
It is the self-concept that gives rise to our possible selves and it is our possible selves that create the motivation for behavior.
Our view of ourselves and our possibilities in the world is centered here.
Franken says that “people who have good self-esteem have a clearly differentiated self-concept.”
This makes sense, doesn’t?
Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves.
We can be skilled at something yet feel inadequate.
We can be in a position of authority, influence or power and yet worry about whether we deserve or it can live up to it.
Sometimes we feel like frauds.
We think we’ve been getting away with a lie for years and someone is going to say ‘What the hell is he doing in that position? He’s doing a terrible job!”
We can feel like imposters or fakes.
Sometimes we luck into a job and muddle around until we actually learn how to do it quite well but we are stuck with the feeling we had when we first got it. That we’re unfit for it.
Conversely we can feel that we’re doing as terrific job and be screwing it up.
Think of the guy who ran the “clean up” of New Orleans after the floods, or Ron Ford, the ex-mayor of Toronto, or any of a dozen presidents of countries around the world.
Their self-esteem is high but misplaced.
They feel they are doing a good job but they are woefully out of touch.
So, in brief and generally-speaking, self-concept is what we think of ourselves and self-esteem (or lack thereof) is how we feel about ourselves.
SELF-KNOWLEDGE
People who know who they are can achieve more in life because they know what they can do and what they can’t do and they are more likely to be motivated to do what they can.
OK, that might be overstating it but not by much!
Certainly, Knowing Yourself is the key to greater achievement in life.
Well, that’s the kind of thing that prompted me to study this whole field and to write and teach about it. If he agree, say something about it b low!
And if you are getting ready to learn more about yourself, send me an email. frankdaley@rogers.com
Want more free information about you?
Join me here:
http://www.selfknowledgecollege.com
-Frank
by daleyfrank0
BATTLE OF THE LONG SAULT.
CHAPTER 5 Montreal: March 20, 1660
Awaiting the decision at attack at Prud’homme’s Tavern, Montreal. Later that night. .
Dollard left the interrogation meeting quickly and let out a yelp that was heard inside the governor’s house. He began to run, but slipped on the ice, slammed into the side of a building, fell to the ground and began laughing.
He was about to get up immediately but he stopped, deciding to savor the moment before seeing his friends at the tavern. He rose, and leaned against the building, his feet in the snow, his head back against a large log house. He thought at last he would have a chance to prove himself. He would return an accomplished commander and, he hoped, with enough furs to start him on his fortune. He could think of nothing better than to be a wealthy soldier, to be like Closse and le Moyne.
He put off heading for the tavern. Instead, he thought of his friends, recruited last autumn, and others approached later, such as Roland Hebert and some of them were on duty.
He walked to the watchtower. He had been there last November and first beheld the rigid back of Roland Hebert. Hebert took life too seriously. His tone was black and his comic remarks often failed to make others laugh because they were snide. He spent a great deal of time mumbling to himself about things. Cognac said he was deranged.
“Roland,” Dollard had said, “how are you?”
“I’m on duty.” The remark was a reproof.
“You can stay on your watch,” said Dollard, who outranked Hebert.
“What else would you have me do?”
He looked down from his height of six feet at Dollard some four inches shorter. Sometimes his attitude affronted people; after a time they decided that was his way and let it go. But they didn’t seek out his company.
When Dollard told him his idea, Hebert changed completely and said,
“Where do I put my mark?”
All traces of condescension had disappeared from his voice. He was like a boy, enthusiastic, willing and eager to begin. He was always this way at the prospect of an adventure, especially a military one. It was as if he consciously contained himself, was barely civil, while doing the routine chores of a settler and only became himself when asked to fight. Dollard understood the feeling but he still wondered at the abrupt change in attitude.
He had climbed down the ladder then from the parapet and walked over to the forge where Jean Tavernier was making the bellows shoot the flames toward an iron grate. Tavernier had been banging a piece of metal without enthusiasm.
“Hey, Forges!”
“How is it going, Dollard?”
“Good. Got a minute?”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He said it as if he meant his life.
Jean Tavernier, “Forges,” because of his occupation, usually looked sure and self-confident as he hammered. He always looked so at the forge or at games, but when he just stood and talked, his posture sagged, almost as if he were embarrassed at his great height.
“Like to kill some Iroquois and get some beaver?” said Dollard.
“You say it like it was a choice of desserts.”
“Almost. If I get the right people, I think I can get the authority.”
Forges stopped hammering, wiped his wrist on his forehead and his hands on his leather apron.
“Are you sure?”
He always asked this question. He wasn’t sure of himself so he had to be sure of other people. Forges, who was so strong, had eyes that rarely remained still and this gave a constant appearance of nervousness that was out of joint with his heroically cast physique. His eyes darted from Dollard’s right eye to his left as if to detect uncertainty in his friend. He saw none.
“Nothing’s sure, here, but I’m confident.”
“That’s the difference between you and me.” said Forges, getting up and retrieving his metal piece, “You’ve got confidence.”
“I have confidence in you.”
Forges snorted. His face had an appearance of uncertainty despite a strong jaw, a high, flat forehead and narrow cheekbones. By themselves, motionless, his face and physique would hardly fail to give off an aura of strength and determination. However, determination was what Forges lacked, and that was nothing more than a lack of confidence. Now his brow furrowed. No one could understand the dichotomy between the face and figure of Forges.
“When do you want to go?”
“In April. It’s only November. We have all winter to got ready.”
“I can do a lot with this over the winter,” he said, hitting the forge with the newly soldered piece of metal.”
During an evening of relaxation at Prud’homme’s Tavern in December, five months ago, Dollard had found other willing young men: Alonie Delestre, at thirty-one, the eldest; Christophe Augier, an indolent, practically slothful individual, whose reedy body was often seen persuading a shovel to hold him semi-erect; Robert Jurie, a business-like, courteous youth who would later administer the expedition; Francois Crusson, volatile, known as ‘Pilote,’ who had a tracking nose like an Algonquin hunter; and Nicholas Josselin, a hypochondriac, and a fanatic about insignificant data and detail. He could be boring in a tavern, but he might know something that could save your life in the forest. He had signed them all.
After Mass at Christmas, Dollard had also spoken to Simon Grenet, a cautious but likeable surgeon’s assistant of twenty-two.
“Ahh, Dollard. I’d like to go but….” Grenet’s voice dropped.
“But what?”
“It’s just that my duties in the hospital…”
“Don’t worry about it. You’re not the surgeon, you’re the assistant. The surgeon will make sure nobody dies while you’re away.”
“But he probably won’t let me go,” said Grenet.
“He won’t have anything to say about it, I promise you. If we don’t go, it won’t be because the surgeon vetoed the plan. All right?”
“All right.”
“Good. I’ll see you later,” said Dollard and he had walked away thinking of Grenet’s habit of trying to consider all sides of a question.
Normally that was a virtue in a man but somehow Grenet used it as a method of putting obstacles in the way of actually doing something he thought he should do.
The same day. the sound of musket fire had drawn Dollard to an area behind the munitions store-house. There was a hill of earth near a wall that the men used for target practice. When he rounded the corner he saw Jacques Brassier looking down the barrel of a musket.
“Boom.” said Dollard quietly. “You are working Christmas Day.”
“Everybody else is too, replied Brassier.“Hello, Dollard. This one has a warped barrel” said Brassier holding a musket. “It shoots up to the left.”
“Aim for the trees.” Suggested Dollard laughing.
“Good idea. I’ll just ask the Iroquois to climb up and pose. ‘A little to the left, please. Thank you.’ Bang!”
“I hope you’ll have it fixed by the spring,” laughed Dollard.
“I’ll have it fixed today or I’ll take it to Forges,” he said, ramming the rod down the barrel.”Why, what’s happening in the spring?”
Dollard told him.
“God, I can’t wait to shoot some of those brutes. It gives me satisfaction.”
“What a way for a man to talk who almost became a priest,” said Dollard in mock astonishment.
“I think I would’ve been a priest, you know, except that I like shooting these savages more than saving their souls. It’s a flaw in my character… Say Dollard… Have you spoken to Rejean Tiblement? He’d be angry if he thought you were planning something like this without including him.”
“I have no intention of forgetting him,” laughed Dollard. “See you.”
The fifteenth youth, Rejean Tiblement, a locksmith, gunsmith and engineer who could fix anything from a ruptured canoe to a hole in a moccasin, from a leaky copper pot to the imported, gilded armoire in Maisonneuve’s large house. He was skeptical, resourceful, tireless. Dollard enlisted him when they were patrolling near a farm where an Iroquois had been sighted.
The sixteenth approached Dollard one day in January.
“I have heard you are to fight the Iroquois,” said Louis Martin.
“Perhaps,” said Dollard.
When the youth saw that Dollard was waiting, he continued.
“I overheard some plans when I was cleaning a barn last night.”
Dollard thought about that carelessness and wondered who was overheard.
“Who was talking?”
“Simon Grenet and another, I don’t know who.”
Dollard resolved to speak to Grenet.
“Can I go too? I can fight.”
Dollard laughed. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-one … you are only twenty-five and when you were twenty-one you were a soldier in France.”
“And you are twenty-one and a cow-herd in Montreal,” said Dollard.
“And I mean to change my station,” said the youth bitterly. “If not with you, then on my own. You must be thirty before they trust you here.”
Dollard snorted. “Can you shoot?”
“’Very well. I have been practicing with ammunition I …ahh…found.”
“From the munitions?”
The youth shrugged.
“Show me,” said Dollard.
“Over on that fence I have three stones. I’ll shoot them off,” Martin said.
Dollard looked and saw the three stones about thirty yards away. The largest would not be difficult to hit — in fact, if Martin missed it on the first shot Dollard instantly decided he would not let him come –but the middle stone was harder and the smallest one was a difficult shot.
Martin raised his musket and fired. The largest stone sprang from the fence. Dollard said nothing while Martin reloaded. He shot again and the middle stone jumped off the fence.
Dollard said out loud,
“This is the test.”
Martin fired and missed.
“Wait, that was a mistake. Let me shoot again”
Dollard said
“Miss again and you’re out.”
Martin reloaded, raised the musket to his shoulder, aimed, fired, and the small stone zipped off into the snow.
“A mistake like that could mean your death instead of a Mohawk’s. He looked at Martin evenly. You can join us.”
The youth had let out a yelp of joy and, calling back his gratitude, raced off.
Most of these men who had pledged to go on the venture now waited anxiously at Prud’homme’s Tavern to hear from him.
***
At the tavern, the men had begun drinking beer provided by the ample-bellied and amply-stored brewer and tavern keeper, Louis Prud’homme.
“Hey Louis, more beer, here!” said Pilote.
“Coming, coming…”
“I don’t know if you can make it…you’re fat and fifty at least!”
Pilote was only half-kidding. He was exuberant but he could be mean. His remark might have passed, given that the drinkers were under thirty, but Prud’homme didn’t let it.
“Listen,” said Prud’homme, putting the drinks on the table. He grabbed Pilote’s shoulder and squeezed hard.
“I may be older than you but I’m stronger and smarter. I’ve killed more savages too. I’ve been here since the beginning and I still outrank you.”
“All right, Louis, you’re right,” said Pilote, rubbing his shoulder.
The older man was strong.
“If we go, you can come with us!”
Hebert, sitting with Pilote said,
“What are our chances?”
“Not good, I guess,” said Pilote turning around to see if anyone saw Prud’homme grab his shoulder.
He was still massaging it.
“But Dollard can be persuasive. What do you think?”
“I don’t know him well. They say he came here because he killed somebody in France. Maybe he’s running away from the authorities,” said Hebert.
“That’s ridiculous. Maisonneuve would not tolerate that.”
“It’s just what I heard.” said Hebert.
“Not possible. Lambert Closse made him godfather of his child and he’s always asked to witness oaths!” Said Pilote.
Hebert shrugged.
“I don’t know him, as I say, but he’s a soldier right? So why isn’t he at the Court in France? You know, Pilote, most people come here to better themselves but some come for darker reasons.”
“Darker reasons! Jeez, Hebert, you’re full of it! There are soldiers in France and soldiers here.” said Pilote scornfully downing his drink.
Eleven were at the tavern drinking, the others having taken the late shift on the palisade. At ten in the evening, when they had gathered, they had been voluble, but now, at midnight, they were subdued. Some were getting morose, worried that the plan would be rejected. Others argued it was only the details of the plan that was delaying their friend and not some discovered weakness that would scuttle the trip. But privately they feared things were going badly.
Dollard appeared in the doorway. He composed himself then he pushed open the tavern door with a heavy hand and a heavier expression of regretful resignation. Eleven heads turned together and just as uniformly stopped when they saw him.
But he could contain his enthusiasm no longer than an instant, and seeing the disappointment that flew over their faces reflected from his, his cheeks cracked, a smile began and before he could stand back and laugh eleven pairs of hands were on him, sending him crashing to the floor where he was immediately doused with beer and called the worst actor in New France.
Louis Prud’homme’s tavern sold more beer and cognac in the next four hours to twelve men than had been consumed by the whole town for the previous week. That night was also the first time in Montreal the ‘no drinking on duty’ ban was broken as Dollard himself slipped out and took a cup of brandy to his friends on the wall.
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