There’s more than one self but you should find the integral one.
We establish our ‘selves’ for good or ill. But it’s a mistake to think there is only one self.
There are many.
INTEGRAL AND PRESENTING SELVES
There is the integral self and there are presenting selves which are parts of our self that we present to differing audiences.
You don’t act with same with your teachers, your peers, your patents and your boss. You don’t tell the same jokes to your soccer mates as you do to your grandmother (unless she’s really cool).
We ‘present’ ourselves differently depending on the situation and the context. You are still ‘you’ but it’s hard to nail down a short description of you.
- There may be a lot of false ideas out there about you.
- You may have skewed ideas about yourself too.
- And you certainly have aspects of yourself that are hidden from you but known to your friends.
- And some things inside you may not be known by anyone, including you.
ROLE PLAYING
We deal often with more than one self.
We play roles with our social groups. All of us are actors to an extent and we adopt or create ‘faces’ or personas that vary somewhat from group to group. They are still ‘us’ but we are complicated.
We have many ‘selves’ some of which we like and others which we dislike because we feel they do not represent any aspect of our authentic self.
The writer, director and comedian (The Producers and many other films) says “You’re always a little disappointing in person because you can’t be the edited version of yourself.”
Separating your true or authentic (OR INTEGRAL) self from false, partial or presenting selves is not easy, especially if you have bought into the idea of a false or incomplete self for years.
There is a great deal more to this subject of course. I hope this introduction will encourage you to dig deeper into the subject of the most important person in the world: you. Here are some ideas that might provoke your thinking on the matter.
- What do you think of me?
- What do I think of me?
- How will you know what I’m really like if you don’t know the real me?
- What is the real me?
- Which of my presenting selves is the closest to my true self?
- How will you know if I show you the real me? Maybe I’ll show you a false side of me, or a partial side, just one of my ‘presenting ‘selves? How will you know?
If you can’t accept yourself why should anyone else? How can anyone else?
If I am not for me, who will be?
(This is one of the Questions I ask of you in my course SECRETS OF SUCCESS THROUGH SELF-KNOWLEDGE which is based on my book Who Are You and What Are You Doing Here? The way to now yourself and get what you want.)
I’ll tell you more about that soon!
The quotation is from The Torah, the foundation document of Judaism. It reinforces our duty to be true to ourselves. It is self evident.
You are the most important person in the world. You must do all you can to be your best. Part of that is standing up for yourself, being assertive.
That’s difficult if not impossible to do if you don’t really know who you are, if you lack a strong sense of self.
If you feel y0u are not completely happy with a sense of yourself, I can help.
Email me: frankdaley@rogers.com or call me ( 905-584-0617 ) for a free strategy session.
No obligation whatsoever.
I’m with you.
Frank
