SELF-ESTEEM MATE DETONATION,
Are you hurting your mate’s self-esteem with careless comments or actions?
Many people don’t have terminal low self-esteem but they can develop it periodically or see it drop through what seem to be minor incidents or words.
In fact, we can all suffer a drop in self-esteem when something important to us is slighted.
It takes years of support to create it and a moment or to two to damage it. For people with strong self-worth this is not permanently damaging but temporarily it throws us off balance.
Sometimes, OK often, we speak without thinking, use an inappropriate term or make an unfortunate remark–usually we don’t even mean it–we were trying to make a joke perhaps, but that’s not the point.
The point is, it hurts the target, not us. We can laugh it off, pass it off, or even tell the person to”get over it!”
But it is their self we are hurting, not ours. We don’t get to decide what hurts others.
I’m not talking about the permanently, professionally “hurt” mopes who constantly profess to be shocked and dismayed by every little thing in life. The people who are forever complaining ab0ut how something someone said sometime, can “trigger” something bad in their soft little heads.
Some triggers are real, but they are not widespread as some “victims” would have you believe. We do not have to change the rule of law and social deportment to satisfy their wrong-headed, weak-minded objections to almost anything in life. Those people should “get over it”–life does not run on their interpretations of life.
I’m talking about the easy, dismissive comment or action that does some actual emotional damage, however slight, we might think it is.
It happens often with partners and our job as a partner is to think before we speak or act.
This story by TERESA NEWSOME points out some of the ways we inadvertently, unthinkingly, and certainly unnecessarily, can hurt our partners, children or coworkers.
Here is Ms Newsome’s article.
If you are having issues with self-esteem, I can help you raise it at Self-Knowledge College.
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