Do you ever feel worthless? Do you lack self-regard?
This is Part 12 in a series of articles about the “self.” (For links to other posts, see below.)
I feel stupid when I try to grasp technology fast but never worthless.
A feeling or permanent or even periodical worthlessness is engendered early in life by poor “caregivers” whether parents, guardians or teachers.
Criticism by people you feel are knowledgeable and trustworthy does it.
Journalist Anneli Rufus struggled with self-loathing for over 40 years. “I hated myself unreservedly, as if it was required,” she writes in her latest book Unworthy: How to Stop Hating Yourself.
This is reported on and analyzed by Margarita Tartakovsky, associate editor of PsychCentral
“Why? Was I a murderer? A thief? Had I committed genocide or bombed the Prado? Was I mean? Did I have seven swollen, scaly heads? Whose children had I thrown down wells? Which city did I plunder? Had I put soap in a swimming pool or slaughtered fawns?”
“No. Rufus’s self-hatred stemmed from seeing her mom treat herself with contempt. Though “meaning no harm,” Rufus’s mom taught her daughter to believe there was something inherently wrong with her. Rufus yearned to be anyone but herself.
“Maybe you, too, have yearned to be someone else. Maybe you, too, have spoken vicious words to yourself. Maybe you, too, have avoided looking at your reflection.”
NOT TREATING YOURSELF WELL.
When you have a shaky self-worth, the last thing you want to do is treat yourself well.
“When we do not see worth in something, we often treat it poorly. Self-worth is the same way,” according to Brooke Lewis, a registered clinical counselor who specializes in self-harm, eating disorders and addictions in British Columbia. You truly believe you aren’t “worth caring for.”
This shows up in self-hatred, self-destructive behavior, and self-loathing.
NO SELF-ESTEEM, NO SELF-CONFIDENCE, NO SELF-WORTH
YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF
It also means you do not, cannot love yourself and this will doom you to a loveless life, (usually) an unproductive life, and a hard life.
I can help.
These feelings can be reversed.
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Here’s more of Margarita Tartakovsky’s piece HERE